Dear Parents, Sex Education Is Not Shameful

Dear Parents, Sex Education Is Not Shameful

September 21, 2023 0 By Maryann Muganda

Getting pregnant outside marriage is the most shameful thing a girl can do in an African home. Parents are often in denial about their children being sexually active. As a result of this particular reason, I grew up my mother telling me that if boys touch me I would get pregnant.

With no explicit explanation after the statement. My mother was not the only parent who shied away from talking about sex. This is common everywhere mostly in African homes.

It still baffles me why our parents shunned away from having the “Sex” conversation with us. As we child entered puberty, we begun to notice certain body changes. It was important that our created an environment whereby we could feel free to discuss this with them.

If our parents addressed sex with their kids, it would have been important since they would have passed across the right information. A child’s first knowledge about sex should come from their parents. Parents should not leave sex and sexuality for schools to educate their kids.

What a child knows at school, from peers, and from social media is likely to be unreliable or misleading. It can also be disturbing or even harmful. Adolescent sexual decision making and behavior are influenced by myriad factors at the individual level as well as peer, family, community and societal levels.

Parents in particular play a substantial role in the gender and sexual socialization of their children As our parents ignored the existence of sex and mostly avoided the conversation and termed is as taboo. We did get the information from other illicit sources that ended resulting to a lot of misfortunes.

I believe that the increase of unplanned pregnancies and young mothers was as a result of our parents avoiding sex education. My age mates are considered mobile natives. 92% of centennials access the internet and they get a whole load of information. The media has not failed in presenting them with sexuality and nudity in the most dramatic and shallow way.

People my age are having sex earlier and living home later. Experimenting with sex happened long time ago alongside learning to be responsible about other things like rent, kids, fees.

Back then sex, adulthood and independence happened simultaneously. Now we are having kids while still living on our parents pocket money. Sitting on phone all day and competing with our peers on tik tok while using our parents WIFI.

Today’s generation are fixated on the “Hook Up” culture, peer pressure to engage in sexual behavior, drugs, alcohol and the frequency of engaging in condomless sex with multiple sexual partners because social media says so. Social media has taken over from traditional guidance. It’s no wonder there’s a rise in young mothers with such a poor teacher.

These will definitely find one on the negative consequences for their actions. One of the consequences of sex is conception. Resulting to young mothers unmindful of what taking care of a baby entails. The lack of guidance also places young women at risk of other precarious outcomes.

My generation, Gen Z – see parenthood as restrictive, inconvenient, and somewhat irrational. Many view not getting pregnant in your early 20s as a life achievement.

Aren’t most of us prioritizing our education and employment, but living more fun and frivolous lives. There’s certainly been a palpable shift in the way young women think about motherhood. Motherhood was once viewed as inextricably difficult but ultimately rewarding, is now passé- even a little puzzling.

The middle aged and older people are out here having heaps of sex and they love it, its there thing. They’re certain at this point that sex won’t result to anymore kids.

Centennials are getting into motherhood clueless. Babies come with a lot of responsibility and it does not only spoil the fun but it comes with a whole load of unnecessary discomfort. I am not against children; I fear the thought of becoming a young mother.

I know motherhood is inevitable. Yes. Considering my generation is conditioned to think that life should always be carefree and they are accustomed to comfort than the millennial throughout history.

The church is there to give guidance and encourage you to follow the way of Christ, become a commendable member of the society with praiseworthy character. Your parent is there to make sure that you implement whatever the church says. Our parents viewed sex as a taboo subject and the family’s reputation and status was paramount.

When Liz came home and told her church going mother that she was pregnant she was judged, she felt embarrassed and disappointed of her own daughter. Guilt became the young lady’s habitual shadow. It was nasty, as she drowned herself into depression as her own mother made her feel like the worst sinner.

The church is the hope of the world its time we made it the first place a young woman ought to run to when she has found out that she is pregnant instead of away because of shame and guilt. The church ought to stop being loud on what they’re against and become famous for the love of Christ they preach.

Dear parents refusing to talk about sex with your children will not stop them from engaging in sexual activity. The tempting unknown can also act as a trigger for misinformed and unsafe exploration.

It is better to be close to your children and talk to them often. Sex education does not encourage promiscuity but it creates an avenue for you to instill family morals.

If your daughter comes home pregnant, stop judging her and asking yourself questions like What will God think of me? I’m I enough for my children? I’m I good mother? You haven’t failed in any way.

Take her, help be there for her and definitely give her the love she needs from a parent. Sex education is not shameful. Its a conversation parents should be ready to address.