My Journey Towards Achieving Good Mental HealthOctober 10, 2023
Experiencing bullying during my early teenage years had profound impact on my self esteem. I was subjected to hurtful comments and ridicule from my cousins. Being young and naïve, I internalized their words and believed their negative assessments of myself.
The consistent belittlement and mockery took a toll on my self perception, leading to low self esteem. Unfortunately the consequences of my low self esteem were far reaching, affecting various aspects of my life. The chronic stress I experienced due to these negative beliefs eventually led to burnout. Over the years, my hormonal balance was disrupted which roundly threw me into depression. Regrettably, I was unaware of my mental health condition and did not seek help promptly.
The worst happened when I was heading to form three. The claws of depression deteriorated my academics. I also found myself in toxic relationships where things were happening contrary to my heart’s desires. This took away the joy of engaging myself in any form of relations. While in college, I thought things would be different and so out of hopelessness and desperation I involved myself with the wrong person that led to unplanned-for pregnancy.
One significant turning point was during the pregnancy period. I was sited in my house firmly watching a Sunday service aired on Citizen TV. The title of this particular sermon was was nothing “changes until your mentality change” I resonated deeply and decided to turn a new leaf.
As the sermon continued on the TV, prayer lines kept ticking at the bottom of the screen which allowed viewers to send prayer requests. I took the opportunity to seek counsel for the issues I was facing. This continued for a while as I keenly listened to the bishop even on radio and watching the service live on TV until one day I had a profound realization that I was not truly born again.
With that conviction, I made the decision to become born again which sparked an immediate change in my life. It was the start of a new chapter filled with self appreciation and self love.
I started unlearning some of the things I had believed in. For instance, I had believed that I am not as beautiful as the society perceived beauty. but I came to know that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and how one views herself is more important. It’s always comforting in the words from the book of psalm 139:14, which assured me that am fearfully and wonderfully made, implying that I am not a mistake but a unique creation of God.
Still I had not fully overcome all my issues in my life. And upto today am training myself on how to love and value myself enough.
Despite the transformation, I was still having suicidal thoughts that had haunted me since I was in primary school and worsened in grade eight.
The medication that I was put on earlier didn’t seem to improve my state. So, I had to gather the courage to visit a psychiatrist and opened up about the suicidal thoughts I had been having.
I was prescribed for the antidepressants and within a month I had experienced a significant shift. It felt like I had awakened from a dream and returned to reality, allowing me to create a new personal reality that aligned with my true self.