8 Important Dating Questions to Ask Your New PartnerAugust 31, 2021
You probably have encountered situations where you go blank when you are around a new partner. This could be because you are not yet familiar with each other. You end up looking at each other awkwardly. That has happened to most of us. Introverts get themselves in this situation the most.
On the first date, there are questions to avoid and questions that you must ask. The questions to avoid are those that might offend your new partner – mostly those that touch on ethnicity, race, and culture.
Which are these questions that you should and must ask on the first date then, you may be wondering. Getting to know your partner is one of the paramount steps you should make on the first days. Of course, there are characters that we all expose and there are those that we don’t let out of the bag.
Asking your new partner questions that allows him/her to talk about themselves creates a bond between the two of you. It makes you comfortable around each other and invites you into the world of your partner.
Here are 8 important dating questions to ask your new partner:
1. What do you look for in a relationship?
This question allows you to get a clear picture of what your partner really wants out of the relationship. People get into relationships for different reasons. Some of the reasons that people get into relationships include:
• To find peace
• To heal from a past relationship or forget their ex
• For stability, both emotionally and financially
• Influence from friends
• Looking for someone to love, care and be loyal to them
• For sex
Your intention in a relationship should align with that of your partner. The feelings should also be mutual. This question is important so that you may not find yourself in a toxic relationship where priorities are different.
2. What is your love language?
There are 5 love languages, according to Dr. Gray Chapman. These love languages summaries what we want out of a relationship, and how we prefer to be loved. Or, how we should be shown love.
The five love languages are:
• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Physical touch
• Acts of service
• Receiving gifts
In summary, someone whose love language is words of affirmation prefers to be shown love through validation. They will ask you how they look before they step out of the house, or seek your advice on anything going on in their lives.
Someone whose love language is quality time will always want you to spare some time and spend together. They will appreciate the little sacrifice you make to spend some time with them.
Physical touch love language involves intimacy. There are partners who love deeper when intimacy is maximized in a relationship.
Someone whose love language is act of service will always want to help you do anything. They find happiness and love from helping out.
Lastly, some people love it when they are gifted. They will love you more when you gift them no matter how small the gift is.
Getting to know the love language of your partner will make things easier for both of you and strengthen the relationship.
3. What do you do for a living?
This question is important. You don’t want to find yourself dating someone who is in an illegal business. Neither do you want to date someone who doesn’t have a dream or vision. Do you?
Asking this question not only opens your eyes on whom you are dealing with, but also makes you think of how you can build the future together.
When this question is asked back to you, just answer it genuinely. Be clear with what you do. If you are a student, mention it. If you sell clothes, say it. If you own are employed, just be clear.
4. Do you have siblings?
This is a general question that will help you know your partner’s background. Knowing the background is important. Knowing if your partner is the first born or last born, will automatically lead to you talking about how they were raised.
However, do not go into details as if you are sent by an FBI agent to stalk her. Other details about her family will pop up as you continue with the relationship.
5. What is your goal in life?
When you want to know whether you can grow together in that relationship, it is good to ask this question. Having a goal in life is important, and you neither want to be in a relationship with someone who is just there.
Be smart on how you ask this question so that it may not offend your partner. You can also encourage them to continue pushing with the dream. You may also suggest some ways on how they can improve or escalate their visions.
Relationships are not about intimacy and feelings only, but also about growth.
6. What are some of the behaviors you can’t tolerate in a relationship?
There are those behaviors that we all can’t tolerate in a relationship. Being clear with your partner about those behaviors is essential.
This question creates an imaginary boundary that communicates to the relationship. You will be aware of what your partner doesn’t like, nor tolerate. This will help you avoid the behaviors.
There are some behaviors that you can create room to tolerate. You can always mention these behaviors so that both of you are clear on what to avoid, and what to entertain.
Cheating is among the behaviors no one would tolerate in a serious relationship, mention that.
7. What did you think when you first met me?
First impressions matter. You may not like someone from the first meeting by how they presented themselves, but after spending some time with them things change.
Asking your partner this question will help you know what she thinks about you, or thought about you before. You might have looked intelligent to her on first day but not anymore.
Some couples meet on social media. With social media, it’s easy to exaggerate your looks, unlike in real life. When these cpuple meet in person, there will always be that first impression that is different from the one expressed on phone.
8. What is your biggest fear in a relationship?
It’s good to know what your partner fears the most in a relationship. It could be heartbreak probably because his/her previous relationship did not end well.
You should know the fear so as to know what to avoid. There are people who might use your fear against you, thus making it hard for people to openly say their fears. Assure your partner that your intentions are genuine and you are just trying to get to know them.
Different people have different fears when they get into relationships. Some might fear to engage in sex, some might prefer being private with their personal issues and others will fear because they don’t trust you. Build that trust from the word go. Show them that you are different from their previous encounters.
You should try as much as you can to know your partner. People are different and no one is perfect. You should pick your imperfect person and tolerate the flaws she/he comes with.
Like they say, “if you are not dating for marriage, then you are dating for a heartbreak. Be clear with your intentions.