A VICTIM OF A MISPLACED TRUST
Look at me! Hey you! l said look at me. This is what l have always wanted to say to you but l understand we are two different people. lt would have been better if you did it without me asking but oh well, am not the type of beauty to stop you in your tracks. ln my life, l have always been the sunshine giving warmth and light. Giving my love without reverse. From the first day l set my eyes on you l was attracted to you with the kind of heady trance that brings a butterfly to nectar.
Some folks wear smiles but this guy was the smile. Billy was like a swimwear model. Black, clean cut and the recepient of a humour bypass. But if you wanted efficiency he was your man. The day you said hi l immediately fell in love. l had already pictured a forever with us and was happy with how karma was going easy on me despite my shitty past.
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l had longed for this day, the day you would look at me the way a woman is to be looked at. The days l set my eyes on you I’d already lost my entire world. How can you hang on something so incomprehensible. After two days we were already a thing. Fast enough huh? Just the way l like it. ln your embrace the world stopped at its axis.
No time, no wind, no rain but just you and me. lt felt like home because l had found peace. When my world exploded from the inside you were the man l wanted next to me. l promised myself to do everything within my will to make you comfortable. l noticed you liked girls with blonde hair so l went and made mine blonde. l noticed you liked girls with a much lighter tone and l made mine extra lighter. l also noticed you liked your women thick and heavy and I’m l even your woman if l can’t check all your right boxes. l did the necessary too.
How quickly your love turned to hate as if you didn’t even fight dont understand. You let that negative emotion swallow you and pour acid on your soul. You said you loved me and l took you at your word. l asked myself endless questions wondering what it is that l did wrong. You told me l was your soul mate and l even thought that l had become a bedrock of your personality .
Right now am howling alone, on the verge of something to happen because l can smell danger from a distance. Things are creeping into my body, my mind is on fire and my thoughts are burning. You rarely come home. You act as if my love was owed to you and you give me only apathy. You talk to me as if l were a stranger. l miss the man l fell in love with. He would have kicked your ass out of this Godamn room for speaking to me like that.
All l am is sadness every other emotion pushed out of my being. I found your message, you want a break up. You want to leave like the G you think you are after taking out of my innocence and pureness. l know see, l fell victim of misplaced trust yet to you it was just lust. You got me falling for your eyes yet behind that you were full of lies. Your familiar hands now give me a stranger’s vibe.
Am a victim of giving love that will never be reciprocated. l am a hurt soul. Dear love don’t loose yourself trying to please the other. People have different intentions and sometimes some just want to have fun and want nothing serious.
