FOREVER?

“Hey baby, dinner is ready”
“Thanks love. I miss……..”
Before he could even finish talking his phone rang. He looked at me and I nodded. He gave me a wide smile and went to the next room. I stood there wondering how long the call would take; three hours, four?, five? ; cause I was sure it would not have been less than two hours and fifty nine minutes cause it has never ever been below that. Sometimes I wondered did we make the best choice, does he still love me? I still want to have a jubilee anniversary with him but does he?

As much as my mind had a lot of questions running through, my stomach was also demanding its justice. I took my seat and began digging in, Liam would join me later.
After roughly thirty minutes, he came back. His face seemed pale and devastated.
“What’s wrong Liam?”
“Rita needs me.”
His voice seemed shook and damn right it would because that was against our ground rules.

“You know that’s against the ground rules. We made that very clear since day one.”
“I know babe but it’s just this night”
“That’s how it always starts this night, just for the weekend, one week, one holiday and before I know it I don’t see you.”
“Hey,” he holds my hand and there is a spark like the one I had when we first met, “it won’t happen again.”
“Rita should know the ground rules; I mean she does know right?”
His eyes looked left and his face down. I took my hand back.
“You did not?”
“I was going to Victoria. I was but I could not find the right time.”

“It has been three months. What else were you waiting for? Leave Liam. She must be wondering what is taking prince charming so long.”
I walked out and headed to one of the guest rooms. Five minutes later the front door was banged and his Chevrolet drove off. I was angry but at the same time I had expected this. I met Liam around eight years ago and he was everything I could dream of. Understanding, loyal and outgoing. Most of all we had almost everything in common, the only thing I guess we differed in was that I was vegetarian and he was omnivorous. Other than that, he was someone I would have wanted to spend my life with.

At first when things were starting to bring a light to my life, I feared loving him. Love was a myth to me and I feared having to give someone all my affection to break it in the end. With Liam, I was ready to take the risk. Although before things had gone too far, I explained to him I was fluid (what most people term as pansexual or bisexual) and to my surprise he was fine with it as long as I was happy. After breaking that to him, he asked if we wanted to be a couple and have an open relationship. Who was I to say no? I mean it was one of the things I wanted and it was happening.

He made me fall in love and deep for the first time in my life. What started as a spark resulted to a flame and before I realized we got married. The first four years were great we had each other to ourselves and my thirst for him around me in every way; he usually took to his duty to quench it. We travelled to every country we dreamt of and made great memories (wink).

After the four years, I thought it was time we had ‘fun’ with others. We had ground rules: No disturbance when we were together, Never get a child outside, Never forget what we had, No bringing anyone to our home especially to our bed and most of all to tell the other partner of our marriage (if it was getting serious). The ground rules were too easy and simple and we both agreed to them.

After getting on and off with other girls, he met Rita that was three months ago. He seemed to like her and I had no issue with it because we would still be together most of the time. Little did I know it was only the beginning, it went from just a hook up to late night calls. I should have at least asked him if she knew of our marriage earlier. I was confused on what exactly to be angry at; my stupid young horny self for agreeing to the open relationship, for not stating that no strings should be attached or for Liam not telling Rita. I still got to meet up with others but all of me from heart to mind and to my soul was attached to Liam. He was like meth, addictive and hard to get off from and I loved him like XO. I looked out at the window, remembering of how he assured he loved me more and he would do everything to proclaim the love we have in every way. But how Rita acted on him, you’d think that she was all the salvation he needed. Eight years later and I was stupid not to imagine of such an incident because I was drunk in love, my mistake.

My alarm beeped and I heard footsteps fade away. Too many thoughts from the last night made me fall asleep. I looked at the door and saw an envelope. I took more than half an hour to reach for it thinking if it was the divorce papers. I went for it prepared to meet the worst. The first thing I saw was Liam’s handwriting and the smell of his cologne. No expression could express how my heart was beating even the West African drums were not a suitable reference.

‘Hey. I am sorry about last night. I took the open relationship thing too far and I am sorry. I don’t want to beat around the bush but I don’t think if we can work; Rita and I. I can’t imagine losing you after these past years. Forgive me please? Come to the kitchen and I could make breakfast and we could talk then maybe we could leave some more scratches on the counter with your finger nails, pretty please?
Love,
Yours forever.’
Despite how angry I was, my hand reached out for the doorknob, my next destination being the kitchen