August 19, 2020 19 By Fatuma Hassan Hussein

“Hi, my name is Fatuma but you can call me Fatma or Fatu, that which is comfortable with you it’s fine by me, and I think I have a crush on you, let me rephrase that, I’m certain that I have a crush on you….” Ahhhh I groan as I get away from the mirror, it’s not coming out right the way I want it too.

I throw my worn out body from the days errands on the bed as I reach for my phone, slowly I start browsing through different platforms and suddenly I find my way on Instagram, then my mind starts wondering whether I should search for his name or not, the good girl in my head tells me to let go of the idea but the bitch in me is hyping a totally different gospel “do it girl, search for his name, let’s peruse through those pictures and see if he’s as fine in snaps as he is in person” and before I knew it there I was searching for this crush of mine.

Searching for him was a walk in the park due to his unique name, lying on my bed I’m wowed by his physical attributes, he’s tall, dark and handsome, just how I love my man served. I can’t stop thinking of what he smells like, what is his articulation is like, somehow I’m already impressed with how he dresses, seems like he’s got taste. I can’t help but think how spending time with him would feel like, I gaze into the air fantasizing his presence by my side, but the crazy bitch in my head wouldn’t let me enjoy this moment as a voice in my head yelled “snap out of it girl, you’re getting way ahead of yourself” but I don’t pay attention instead I allow my thoughts to carry me away.

Amid my fantasy moment, I go ahead and start liking his pictures, all of them, my fingers do it so flawlessly as I feel so alive like these are the moments to live for, going through your crush’s page, double tapping on his every picture using the kiss emoji until it hits you that you’re not even friends to begin with. “Holy crap! What have I done?” my body starts getting restless as sweat trickles from my every nerve. I couldn’t believe that I had messed everything up, how careless I had been. Everything was going just fine with me observing my crush from a far but the idea of trying to get closer to him didn’t turn out to be a good one and just like that could the magic have ended even before it could have begin…………??!