COMIC STRIP THURSDAY 3

Kenyans tend to have the habit of nagging and getting into people’s personal space. Let’s handle the type of questions they usually ask. Do you find it hard to answer those annoying questions that people constantly seem to ask you? More often than not, you end up angry with yourself for not reacting the right way at the right time. Prepare yourself for a few irritating queries beforehand, and you’ll leave satisfied by putting everyone in their place!

“So when are you gonna give us ‘good news’?”

This is a question that most women start hearing before their honeymoon is even over! Aunties, Uncles, friends and even your own parents can’t wait for you to announce an upcoming baby – almost the minute the nuptials have concluded! Here’s what you can say to make them feel awkward, and mind their own business in the future, “As soon as I figure out how. Any tips, suggestions, or favorite position?

How much do you earn?”

Asking a person her salary is considered to be really bad manners. But there are times when you have to put up with such queries. So, how to answer this stupid question? Keep a straight face and reply, “Well, enough to hire a taxi that’ll take me far away from such questions”.

“Why have you put on so much weight?”

There’s hardly any woman who likes to discuss her weight gain in public. However, some annoying people can really bog you down with such questions. Giving a snappy answer to this stupid question is the best way to put a full stop to discussions. Say something like, “Oh! It’s just my prosperity showing on my body. Seems like life isn’t treating you so well.

“Why are you always so busy?”

You’re tired and overworked and then have to put up with these questions and the lamentations that follow. Keep your cool and come up with a witty answer that’ll end the complaint. “I didn’t know you had all the time in the world to miss me so much. I wish I was as free as you are!” is a great comeback!

“Are you looking older?”

You may want to run for cover than answer, but the better bet is to reply with a funny answer to the stupid question like “Old is gold! Can’t you see the shimmering aura around me? If not, maybe you need those bifocal glasses.”

“Why are you looking so tired?”

In spite of the fact that people know how hard you work to balance your family and work life, they keep asking this question. Don’t let them get to you, however; instead, give a naughty reply that might embarrass them. Wink and say, “Guess!”

“Is that a new haircut?”

There are several answers to this kind of a question.

“No, there’s a dial on my back that makes it longer or shorter” or
“It’s my new wig, did they fit it incorrectly?” You can also tell them, “Actually, it’s my sister’s but I liked it so much I stole it from her.”
That will get them of your back for a minute.

 is that really your car?
This is when a person is kind of jealous of you and you’ve got to give them a dose of what they deserve. We have three options here
Option 1: “No, it’s my stupid person killing machine. Would you stand right there for just one more second please.”

Option 2 : “No, it’s my personal time machine.  When I push this pedal here on the floor, 10 minutes later it transports me somewhere else.”

Option 3 : “No, it’s the grand prize award for the smartest person I meet today.  Could you excuse me, I need to talk to the guy standing behind you.”

 [to a man with an armful of firewood] “Are you going to build a fire?”
This one got me laughing as I wrote it,the one getting these kinds of responses deserve it.

“No, a nest.  I need someplace to lay my eggs.”

“No, I’m going to build a two hundred story building out of twigs.”

“No, it’s just that I can’t stand a sloppy forest so I thought I’d pick up a little here and there.”

See you next Thursday folks.