Strong enough

The clock strikes at three A.M in the morning and I still find myself tossing and turning, thinking of the days to come. My mind is against me, my heart tells me to be strong, it whispers to me that all i need is to hold on. I have written words of hatred for many years, words that i can only call myself. Words full of anger. Words that are not allowed to come out of my mouth.

Then, I was reminded that He who bargained for my existence did not forsake me. He already made a way for me and saved me from myself .He has washed my crown with his blood and given me victory.

Dear me who has pushed through pain. Pushed away the thought of ending it all, putting down the knife, trying to protect what is left of a broken person.

You love so much but you never give it to yourself. You are afraid of showing that you need help yet you are constantly asking where you could be of help. You tire down and let yourself drown.

Why can’t you see what others see? Why do you beat yourself up with thoughts that will only break you down?

The spark inside you has become weak. It’s courage that you seek. You have buried your sorrows. You say that you have tried. You worry too much about tomorrow, you think it will have the same sorrow. There is no sunshine, there is rain. The past hurts but you can only learn from it.

You always get caught up in the cage but that doesn’t stop you from dreaming about the stage. That one day you will escape it all ,air out the rage. So here is a letter from me to me.A letter that must be kept unburnt. I must, we must stay strong enough.

Now when they ask me how i did it, I say God taught me. When they ask me why I’m winning, I say God taught me. Like a stone pebble trying to explain the height of a mountain. His unconditional love cannot be traced back. for I’m loved.You are love. I live at peace with myself, for you are peace. I know where there is love,there is no darkness.