MEDDLING IN THE MEDAL BUSINESS
A couple of days ago, I put up a status on my Whatsapp, asking my contacts to inbox me stories they thought I could help share. One of my closest friends replied, “Write about the hardest truths about life, friends and people in general you’ve come to accept in the past two years you’ve been in school” I decided to make it a series of posts, tackling one truth at a time. Here goes:
Well, from the outset, I’d like to clarify that I am a big boy, and the two years I have been in school is a reference to my prisoner status at Law School, and not kindergarten. Now that the little issue of my age is out of the way, perhaps we can move along, swiftly.
The truth is, I am free spirited human being. I live day by day, I do not hold a grudge for longer than is necessary, I certainly do not keep a journal to remind me how I felt two years but if I am looking for a genesis to this story, I cannot do better than the Law School notice-board. You see, during my first days as a law student, I spent a good deal of time wandering around the school’s offices and the pictures of the students receiving various awards stood out to me. I would stand there and build castles, ceremonies, hell I even made speeches in the air. The mind is a good place to take a vacation, sometimes, especially when your imagination has been seduced. That was in September 2018.
I thought about how beautiful I would look plastered all over the notice-board, how eloquent my speeches would be, how revered I would be among my peers and how my Legal career would take off and make everyone take notice. Long story short, I got my wish. I won awards, I gave speeches, I got my photo on the Notice-board. I remember standing in front of the board in September 2019, and feeling like something was missing. I couldn’t place a finger on what it was exactly but the one plus one was totaling to eleven. I mean, wasn’t I supposed to be happy? I stood on that exact spot one year before, a rookie. Now the rookie had broken speed records on roads his mentors had cleared for him. The rookie had learnt to dribble and pass the ball, now he was making shots outside the perimeter and dunking the ball like it was a clutch play in a playoff series. So where was my coronation?
Then it hit me. There was no coronation. There was no donkey for me to ride into the City, and there was no one idle enough to spread out mats and flowers for me. Everyone keeps saying wake up and smell the coffee, but no one tells you how strong and repulsive the smell is. You think you’re gonna wake up and smell the stuff they sell at Java? We ngoja tu, hehe. In case it hasn’t hit you too, that’s the first hard truth I learnt over at Law School. That awards do not make you champion. That recognition doesn’t really mean that you are working harder, or smarter than anyone else. That having a bigger voice doesn’t mean that you have a better opinion. I began noticing this lesson in many small aspects of my life. Every time I noticed it, I would smile to myself and feel better. I would feel like I had made progress, just for noticing something. Maybe this is how all those lecturers start talking to themselves, who knows?
The first time I recall seeing this lesson elsewhere is when I was caught in the middle of a not so friendly conversation between the then Law School President, Mohammed Were and Simon Peter Wamuya Wairimu. Well, Simon Peter is one of my closest friends, but he can argue with you about your own name or why the sky is blue. Or why Akothee is easier on the eye compared to Beyonce. You get the point. The conversation centered around the grades we had scored for Constitutional Law. I don’t recall most of the conversation word for word or what law students who like to show off would call verbatim ( Phewks, I would not even think about showing off, btw) but I remember Were saying this, “ Just because you have an A does not mean you know all the Constitutional Law in the world” And although they both said a lot of other things in that exchange , that one remained with me.
I understood Were in the context of my own lesson. That scoring an A did not validate you as being smart. That it was nothing more than a title. In order to find fulfillment and satisfaction, it was necessary to dig deeper, to find more meaning than just competing, racing because even if you win a rat race, you’ll still remain a rodent.
That lesson has remained with me and still guides me through my pursuit of success and fulfillment, while trying to strike that elusive balance between celebration of victory and preparation for the next battle. It has become such a go-to solution for me. Recently, my girlfriend had the displeasure of being the recipient of my validation lecture.
You see, my girlfriend is an actress. Now, she’s no Halle Berry yet, but watch this space. In fact, here’s a conspiracy theory. All this writing I am doing is just practice for when I have to write a speech for E! when she wins an Oscar. Anyway, she won an award in 2019 for being Best Actress in the Nairobi Metropolitan Drama Festivals. Naturally, she expected some recognition in her 2020 venture. That’s how we are conditioned to think as competitive creatures. Now, she did not win any individual award, but her team won in every category of the competition!
When we were talking about it, she expressed how she felt like maybe she had not brought her A game, how she was afraid she was not growing as an actress. I looked over my validation notes, and I assumed my Monk stance. I was almost tempted to write verbatim( Wink!) what I told her but,I have a reputation to protect in these streets. Haha. I told her that awards do not mean much. That with or without the award, she was still part of an incredible group of gifted thespians and that together they had managed to tell a beautiful story on stage. The competition was there and they won it, that they were supposed to feel amazing about that believe it or not, that was not the best thing that happened to them that day. So many people’s confidence levels went up, so many people felt like they were part of something larger that day. So many dreams came true. That’s where the true victory lay.
In a nutshell, that’s exactly what I am saying in so many words. That we live in a society that too often paints winners as more committed than losers. When you think about it, you’ll realize It’s for both parties. The winner gets overconfident and egotistical and the loser gets derailed and loses passion for the next battle or approaches victory to prove a point. That’s how Nyash came to sing, Can I be free, Relax and Take it Eeeeeeeasy?
Disclaimer: This Article is not intended to make anyone complacent or less hungry for success and the inevitable, consequent victory lap. In case of such symptoms, watch a TED talk.
