Are Men Ready for The Empowered Women?March 8, 2021
The question has been thrown around quite many times, that the women are being empowered, but who will prepare men for the empowered women?
Life’s algorithm is changing, rapidly. Unlike in the past, we now have educated women, independent women, women who don’t really need a man to be complete. We have women in construction sites, and women that are playing the father role in their families. The adage is apparently manifesting itself, what men can do, women can do too.
With the changing mentalities towards gender roles, men have found it hard to structure back their essence as men. The entitlement of being the head is indirectly ‘snatched’ from them. Today, they are not the only ones with the final say, they are not the only ones that can be the bread winners, they are not only the ones with respectable decisions, they are not… they are not oxygen- women can still breathe without them. Divorce and separation has become something easy and common. well, you don’t need a man to be stable, do you?
Recently, the court made a ruling that both parents (father and mother) will now be responsible for their children’s upkeep. Baby daddies and deadbeats out here must have celebrated vehemently. It is now a responsibility of both parents to ensure their children have gotten education, have eaten, have gotten shelter even after a divorce.
Fatuma Hassan recently wrote about splitting roles in a relationship, rather having a 50/50 kinda relationship. Where both parties contribute, whether it’s in the kitchen (you cook, I do the dishes) or it’s in the restaurant (you pay for drinks, I pay for the meals). That’s where we are at, quite literally. Such relationships last.
Men and women are now at equilibrium. It is a good state since both genders have a role to play in the growth of the community, as a whole. The traditional view of how men should be or how women should carry themselves is now becoming a nuisance. Men should feel free to open up, and show emotions; cry bro. The ‘wife material’ view (a good wife should know how to cook, how to do the dishes, clean the house….) of women is old news.
Men could seem very comfortable with the 50-50 contract but deep down they want their mancard back. They want to feel they are incharge and in control of everything. Isn’t that what being a man is though?
Being at equilibrium with women in matters of societal roles has somehow erased the respect women had for men. Men are no longer seen as the head, but just members of the family. We will revisit my very first line in this article and say, men need to be empowered so that they may know how to handle empowered women without buzzing toxic masculinity. Their should be classes for young men to be taught how to adapt to the new world. How to handle women who can still raise families without the support of men. How to earn respect from them and how to live with them.
However, on the flip side, this has taken the burden off the men’s back. Responsibilities that were fully directed to men’s capabilities are now shared to both genders. Mwanaisha Hamadi, a Citizen TV Swahili anchor has a segment called Mwanamke Bomba which airs the women who are beating all odds to earn a living, help the society and make world a better place. How I can’t wait for Kenya to have a female president!
Boychild’s online ‘advocates’
The likes of Aoko Otieno, Andrew Kibe and Eric Amerix have gone beyond their comfort zone to advocate for the boychild (men).
Aoko Otieno is brave, she speaks her mind and spits unfiltered wisdom. From her posts, she is clearly not impressed by how women (‘educated slay queens and toxic feminists’)are using their coochie to extract money from men. She asserts that the same women are the ones who go wild on social media boasting about their high-end lifestyles and throwing shade to men who can’t afford them. With her rich English, she points out the traits that men should avoid, avoid like a plague.
Andrew Kibe is a no nonsense. He doesn’t have room for apologies neither. He says as it is. His advice to men always revolves around them owning up to their tokens as men and not allowing the wind of feminism bring them down.
On the other hand, Eric Amerix is invariably vibrant on Saturdays on twitter spitting some one and twos in regards to masculinity with his hashtag #SaturdayMasculinity. He flashes some light towards men’s self esteem and their stand towards toxic relationships.
The three mentioned are just afew of the many who have tried to block the bullets directed to men. You could brand it a casual class for men empowerment. They are reflecting what men go through in the society, the real picture of men-women interaction in the 21 century.
Toxic masculinity and feminism have come a long way. Men don’t want to look weak, neither do women want to be used.
We are all equal. Gender shouldn’t define our strength. Again, what men can do, women can do too. We should press in some effort for a change that will be of benefit to us all. We are fighting to be better as a whole not to be better than the other.