I NO LONGER SANITIZE MY MOUTH WITH MUTURA

Did Mutura die and was silently buried at Langata Cemetery without our knowledge? Have you witnessed it’s scarcity over the past few weeks?
I don’t know about you but I miss sizzling cuts of the mighty mutura. This legend might have died a natural death, with the disruption of normal activities by the fearful Covid 19.

It doesn’t give me inner peace realizing that one of the most famous street food is nowhere to be found. The legendary mutura that shared fame with Sanaipei Tande, Otile brown and Pascal Tokodi on social and mainstream media is no more (at least for the next curfew bonus of three weeks.)

For the very few rich kids who were born in gated communities and do not have an idea of what I am talking about, here is a simple definition. ”Mutura is an intestine-encased mixture of minced pieces of cow or goat meat, tripe, and cooled blood that’s been flavored with onions, salt, pepper, and chili. Vendors and home-grillers roast the sausage over a charcoal stove until it achieves a golden brown.”(Atlas Obscura)
However, modern day colonialists have baptized it to ‘African sausage,’ a name that translates to friendly search results for them on the internet. How I wish they could just use mutura, because that is what I will search on google if I wanted to find something about it.

I have thus been on tears for the past one month. The absence of aroma of mutura along the roads in most centers has really given me sleepless nights. My stomach has refused to believe the fact that it could be more than a month before I pay the dues.

I pissed of my mouth when I tried to prepare homemade mutura. Little did I know there is always magic in roadside mutura, chopped with a special knife, at the early life of the night and topped with kachumbari and kafirifiri (salad and chilli.) Till now, my mouth has refused to eat anything meaty, which is an advantage because now I have to channel that money I would I have bought meat to buy data bundles. Data bundles because my local upcoming artists have found a way of blackmailing me with numerous “support your own by subscribing to my YouTube channel” shenanigans.

It has become a national plea. On behalf of all mutura consumers worldwide, I wish to appeal to any mutura guys out there to start home deliveries for the remaining days of curfew and lockdown. It is my prayer that however much the pandemic has pinched most business in the butt, there is still room for redemption.

It is however my prayer that Mutura will not join the same WhatsApp group with apples when things come back to normal. I cannot stand it swinging its backside in the leafy suburbs of Nairobi, slaying with high prices. This alone can send me to the grave as early as 102 years. I want more!
Till we meet again. Enjoy the lockdown!