Confessions of a Gen Z Lover: In the Era of Situationships and Soul Ties

Love isn’t what it used to be, at least not for my generation. I’m part of Gen Z, the era of soft heartbreaks, casual connections and feelings we pretend not to catch. We’ve grown up watching our parents love for decades, yet here we are, trying to define what it even means to “talk,” “vibe,” or be in a situationship.

And yes, I’ve been there. Caught between the “we’re just friends” and “I miss you” texts. We don’t date we orbit each other, waiting for one person to admit they care more. Dating many people is now normal, almost expected. One for the deep convos, one for the vibes, another for attention. It sounds fun until your emotions are split in four directions and no one texts you back.

Soul ties? Oh, they’re real. You can laugh about it, deny it, act like that one night didn’t mean anything but it does. You move on, but somehow their laugh, their scent, or the way they said your name lingers. It messes you up when you’re trying to “heal” but still stalking their highlights at 2am.

Let’s not even talk about the wild things girls do for love like booking surprise flights, sending M-Pesa, becoming unpaid therapists, all in the name of “I know he loves me deep down.” Sis, he doesn’t. But we’ll justify it because love, even confusing love, feels better than none.

Then there’s the pain. You think you’re just chilling, catching vibes, and suddenly you’re crying over someone you were never officially dating. Heartbreak without closure hurts in a way that messes with your self-worth. But you pretend you’re unbothered on your Insta stories while your Spotify playlist tells another story.

Still, somewhere in this chaos, we crave real love. The kind that’s safe, honest, and intentional. We want peace. We want someone to choose us loudly in a world full of half-efforts and mixed signals.

So here I am, learning that love isn’t about games or chasing people who can’t choose me. It’s about choosing myself first, healing the mess, and waiting for someone who doesn’t flinch at the word “forever.” Until then, I’ll keep loving loud, living soft, and leaving when I’m no longer valued.

Because Gen Z might play, but we also feel deeply. And that’s something no situationship can ever take away.