Right Time to Marry Remains Puzzle to Many

Right Time to Marry Remains Puzzle to Many

March 30, 2022 0 By Ian Elroy Ogonji

The right timeframe to settle down with a partner is still a mystery in the lenses of many. Age has proven to be the determinant rather than compatibility.

Traditionally, a man would just be chilling then boom a damsel is brought to him for marriage. This was a perfect way to approach it since both sides of the family were involved. The man’s family knew what kind of person he was, and what qualities of a woman would fit his desires. The same applied for the woman’s side.

For what seemed like a jigsaw fitting, it was hard to come across cases of divorce. If by any chance a misunderstanding came up, both families would come together and solve it. Perseverance was the order of the day.

It is however ironical how the more time flies the more freedom is bestowed to people. The aforementioned arranged marriage is hardly practiced nowadays, save for some Islam communities.

Although there is freedom of choosing a partner in this digital era, the elephant in the room is, when is the right time to get married?

A study done by Nick Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah, suggested that people should get married between the ages of 28 and 32 if they don’t want to get divorced, at least in the first five years.

Most people marry around that age gap. The society perceives that as the perfect time to marry. This perception has however led to unnecessary rush whereby a 28-year-old might haste to settle down with someone just to fit in the society’s safe side.

The pressure might as well come from the parents who keep on asking the cliché question, “na hujatuletea mtu? Tunataka wajukuu (You haven’t brought to us a suitor, we want grandchildren).”

There are many factors that may contribute to one getting married late in life or even choosing not to marry at all. Spending a lifetime with someone requires more than just matters of the heart. Finances, hygiene, character and personal goals are just but part of the reasons that may inflict a delay in marriage.

Peter Chuani, famously known as DJ Pinye recently opened up why he is still single at 51. Despite his success in deejaying, he asserted that marriage is the only department he failed at.

He explained that in as much as he wanted to settle down, his career could not give him the chance to.

Many people prefer giving their all in their career to extends of forgetting to settle down. By the time they come back to reality, everyone their age is married and with kids.

For some, true love finds them when they are of age. The late former Attorney General, Charles Njonjo, found his love, Margaret Bryson, when he was 51.

Most people prefer to marry in their thirties giving a bet that by that time they will be financially stable to raise a family and have a stable career.

There are those that find love at an early age and end up tying the knot. It is common to find a 20-something-year-old couple these days. For some, it’s a personal decision and genuine agreement to marry at that early age. For others, early pregnancy is the catalyst that knots them together.

Celebrated media personality, Maina Kageni chose not to join the marriage institution. He says marriage is not for everyone and that he enjoys the freedom that bachelorhood comes with.

Even though Kageni has the financial stability, ripe of age and maturity, he still chooses to stay away from marriage.

Bachelors and spinsters have other priorities other than marriage and raising a family. They sink their attention into their careers and other commitments. Some would rather be a free spirit than having to ask for permission from someone else (wife/husband) everytime they want to do something.

Marrying is more of a personal decision. There is no right age nor timeframe to marry. You can marry when you’re young and still be happy and vice versa is also true.

Also, you may choose to marry someone older or someone younger, so long as you find the happiness you deserve. The society might throw criticism your way – it always does – but they will eventually move on.

There is no perfect timeframe for marriage. The decision is personal and consensual between the hearts involved.