Lost and Found

We all have lost a thing or two in our lives. Those things may include our careers, our loved ones, our partners in different sectors in life or even our selves!

Personally, I have lost so much in my life ever since my childhood up to date in my adulthood and I am very certain that we all as human beings have suffered loss in different stages of our lives, and that is part of our existence that we should all learn to embrace so as to have some peace of mind.

With different loss, we have hoped and prayed to gain something similar to that which we lost or something more greater in value. When we lose our jobs, we ask God to grant us another better opportunity. Similar thing happens when we lose our partners or friends. Sometimes though, we do not ask or wish to gain something that will replace that which we would have lost but rather, we ask for the courage to accept and move on from our loss.

Sometime in 2018 I happened to have lost so much in my life, my sanity and peace of mind included and everything seemed to work against my favor. There was this one loss that particularly stood out for me and that was: loosing my friendship with my best friend.

My then best friend and I had come along way ever since my first year in high school. She was everything I wished to have in a friend and being around her felt like home. She inspired me in various ways and she was one person I used to look up to because her confidence and intelligence was top notch. So yes, I must admit that the day our friendship came to an end it did hurt me. Infact, it felt more or less like an heartbreak from my favorite prince charming. To say that I was not affected by it in any way would have been a very big fat lie because I was crumbled and shattered into pieces. I cried day and night and lost my appetite an indication that it meant so much to me!

Looking back at it, she was my first and last best friend thus the reason why I took it very personal. It was an intense friendship that I was not willing to share with any other person but too bad for me my best friend had another best friend! and that did not sit well for me. It felt like I was being betrayed
I called off the friendship without her knowing. I deleted our conversations with her number included. I also deleted some pictures of her that I had in my phone. I was determined to let go of everything that would remind me of her and was looking forward to moving on from all the memories that I shared with her. It was one tough decision that I ever made and somehow I felt very uneasy with myself because you know this is someone that meant so much to me and now I was trying to learn how to live without her presence in my life. It was tragic!

As time went by, I eventually found a way of living my life without a best friend. Things went back to normal and at no point in time did I feel the urge to have another best friend. I was at that point in my life of letting go and moving on.

Two days ago, on my birthday, I woke up to a very unexpected thing. Can you all guess what it was?! Well, I bet you can’t he he. Anyway, I woke up to so many happy birthday wishes but aside from that I received a Facebook notification which I always overlook but on that day I found myself opening Facebook just to check what it is that they are actually notifying me about. In the process of doing that, I came across a couple of friend requests and among the ones who had sent me a friend request on my birthday, my ex best friend was one of them!

I was honestly surprised because I did not expect to ever get to hear from her again and now here she is wanting to be my friend, again! I decided to go through her timeline and see what it is that she has been up to since when we last talked. She looked fine to me and pretty as always and that is a good thing. When I was done going through her timeline, I went straight ahead and deleted the friend request! It honestly felt relieving and a walk in the park.

I know that some of you upon reading this article will start asking “why on earth did she delete that friend request?!!” it’s simple; right now my peace of mind is of more importance to me than any form of friendship or relationship whatsoever. That should also be the case for anyone who is reading this story, do not give second chances or crave for something or situations that once broke you.

Not everything that we lose should be replaced, but rather, we should thrive to find ourselves instead of other people so as to fill out gaps for us. Sometimes we lose ourselves while trying to search for other people and that right there is the biggest mistake we can ever make because NOTHING and NO ONE is worth loosing ourselves over!