October 21, 2019 0 By Donald Lawrence Oguda

My name is Juliet, before 24th January 2019 I had the best of all in my life, he made me feel like a queen in a throne, was promised heaven and for sure it wasn’t hell or the forbidden Garden of Eden. I met him some time back in 2015 while at the National theater and well, as the saying goes it was love at first sight.

His name is John, coincidentally, my dad’s name is also John, they are namesakes, I bet this was one of the many points that made me fall for him, of course I love my dad and would go for anything that is related to him. We were the best couple in town and every one would always want to know how we managed to maintain the standards. Just when I thought I was at the peak of my love life, situation proved to be different and I wasn’t going to enjoy anymore. I wish I knew that Sunday would be our last day together, I would have done magics and get the clock’s hand at a standstill, not to move even a second, the more it moved the more the events unfolded.

Ever thought of a well scripted twist in a movie? Mine was of that kind, perhaps different because this wasn’t a movie anymore, it was a real life situation. It changed me for good( I mean it). Knowing someone for all those years only to be dissapointed in a span of thirty five minutes and sixteen seconds is a thing that not even the bravest would wish to go through.

Anyway, it’s been almost 10 months since we broke up( I do hope I’m good with my maths this time round). I’ve been asked severally why I can’t move on just like “others”, and by the way my friend Lisa just got into a new relationship last week, exactly three days after breaking up with her former boyfriend. I wish her well.

As for me I don’t think I’ll date anymore, that’s being petty, I know. I’ve tried to move on but there are several reasons why I just can’t move on, the same reason that make all of us from opening a new leaf in life.

  1. Can’t trust anymore.
    Trust is so vital in a relationship, whichever kind,exception of drug peddlers. Been thinking of how I will trust once more and I find it just hard. I’ve been in a situation where truth turned out to be a very big lie and I ended up blaming my instincts. People play smart in this game that you can’t even decipher a lie from truth. I no longer trust even my own shadow, leave alone the mirror.
  2. Starting all over again.
    Do you have secrets? Some life secrets that need to be secure like De Larue building? Well, we all have secrets that we can only tell people who are very close to us, but still we have to gather emough courage to tell them what we went/go through. I’m not ready for that, not ready to make myself comfortable next to a stranger anymore. I don’t want to start all over again from knowing his flaws and what he is best at, to learn on how to handle another offspring of Adam and Eve. Not ready.
  3. Fear a replica of my worst past.
    It has taken me a very long time to heal from the heart break, I don’t wish to get into another relationship that most probably will end up being toxic.
    I’m in fear, the fear of the unknown. I just hope to find a lasting solution. Whoever is going through what I am going through right now just make the right decision for you. Did I just say right? Well, I’m cheating myself, just make a choice that will save your situation, whether right or wrong. I’m done.