TO HURT OR TO HEAL

Pain. A four letter word yet it carries so much weight. Ironic though how the word “Heal” is made up of exactly four letters, just what anyone who’s hurting would be told “ To create space for healing.” But if we are being realistic, is it really easy to heal after you’ve been hurt? I’d like to believe that healing takes time, lots of time, days, weeks, months, years, decades and even longer.

Let’s go back to that time when you first got hurt but you still experience the pain till date. I’m assuming your mind has taken you back to your first heartbreak, likely, the time when you lost your loved one to the jaws of death, when you got displaced from home due to family feuds, or when you had to keep up with abusive parents or partners hoping that they would change one day but they didn’t, when you got body shamed because your physical attributes did not meet the expectations of the “perfect persons” assuming there are those who are completely flawless.

Do you remember how it felt then or even now, the way you wallowed in pain, how hurtful it was, you definitely thought that you’d never feel any better for your every nerve was filled with bitterness, the thought of suicide, revenge, vengeance, remorse and so forth, it probably sounds like that which you experienced huh? We all have found ourselves victims of pain to a point where we thought that it’s the end of our existence and that there is nothing more to live for. But hey, look at you, still here alive and kicking just fine.

I personally remember the one time when I got so hurt, it was when I had to grow up without my mother by my side when she lost her life due to health complications. And if I’m being honest I still get consumed with the pain of living each day without her. “Does it get any easier?” Someone might ask, but I’m afraid not. It doesn’t. Often times when I find myself thinking about my mother’s demise I normally allow the pain to consume me for a while before I can snap out of it.

So why I’m I bringing up the case of my mother’s death in this article, well, it’s because through it all, for all the years that I have lived I have come to learn that, nothing can harm you without your consent. Easier said than done, maybe and maybe not, but one thing is for sure, however hurt we are, or however much pain we keep on experiencing each day, nothing is worth losing our sanity for and especially our peace and tranquility of mind.

So what if you lost that job, or you got dumped, or got your heart broken, or you’re still living with your childhood trauma, or you still see your long gone loved one in your dreams, or you got shamed because you’re too tall, too short, too skinny, too chubby or whatever your reason of going through that pain.

To heal or to hurt is totally your choice to make, whereas you may not be responsible for that which pains you at the moment but you’re definitely responsible of how you choose to react to that which is draining you. If you choose to victimize yourself and self piety, the good news is you are allowed to do that, and if you choose to put everything behind you and burn bridges to people and things that only hurt you then the great news is nothing can stop you, not even the universe. Watching out for yourself first by not allowing other things and in this case pain to control your life is such a daring move that you ought to take whenever you feel like a certain energy does not contribute to your aura of well being, and remember, when the enemy is not from within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.