So below are the must do’s if you’re hopping to ascend to the heights of GENTLEMANLINESS while in the village.

1. BE OF MALE GENDER

 This is so obvious right? You have to be of male gender to be a gentleman. Not female, not They ( oh yeah there’s a they gender). Anything that’s not male cannot be a gentleman. Ati gentlewoman, absurd right?

2. DO NOT BE GENTLE – ESPECIALLY WHEN IMBIBING AT THE VILLAGE RESORT

 I’ve also noticed that the word gentle forms roughly three quoters of the total character count in gentleman. You’re in the village man! Folks like it here if you’re tough talking and just a pinch rude to the bar maid. There are no feminists and no one indubitably reads Chimamanda so you can insult the bar maid anyhow anytime and get away with it. Also this is the most opportune time to remind everyone in the bar of your University degree and ask them where they were when you were getting your training in Havard. They must know people.

3. DON’T TELL PEOPLE YOU SUPPORT ARSENAL

 Now this is ancient wisdom my friend. Even your ancestors knows this. Never admit to anyone in the village that you support Arsenal even if you do. Not even when you’re under the influence of your poison. You can’t support Arsenal and still be a gentleman. You can be either never both!

 4. BOAST OF YOUR MANY WOMEN IN NAIROBI

 It doesn’t matter whether you’re married or not. People in the village want to hear of your conjugal prowess so feed them some. They will bestow a great deal of respect on you when they know you’re just as polygamous as your ancestors.

5. DON’T TELL PEOPLE ABOUT YOUR FOLLOWERS ON INSTAGRAM

I know you’ve reached 15k followers on IG and recently even King Kaka followed you. Well unless there’s a local center in your village called Instagram, don’t tell anyone of the many people From Instagram who follows you.

6. WEAR SUITS 

This is arguably the shortest route to GENTLEMANLINESS. I don’t know why it’s not the first point. Just wear suits in the village bro. Wear suits.

7. MIX ENGLISH WITH YOUR LOCAL DIALECT WHEN SPEAKING

If you don’t hail from the lake region, I’m sorry, I can’t help you here.People who lace every statement they say with English are accorded the highest level of respect in the village. Just go like,”Schedule na sani is very tight omera” ( my schedule right now is very tight my brother)

8. PAY THE NDUTHI GUY TWICE THE FARE 

Baas now this here does wonders bro. If the fare from your hut to the local center is 50 shillings, pay 100. It will not be long before everyone is singing of how the county assembly would look better with you in it.

It’s me your specialist. Always at your service.  

The post TOP 8 WAYS TO BE A GENTLEMAN IN THE VILLAGE THIS FESTIVE SEASON appeared first on .

This day though was quite peculiar, almost everyone had a reddish vibe. Even from Java you’d notice the customers had ‘love in the air’ as they say. Sipping on my beverage was the only love I’d think of as a bachelor. In the midst of my empty thoughts, as I raced my eyes through different angles of the street, i landed on a girl whose hair and awesome glasses caught my attention. She’d just been dropped off by an Uber. I’m avoiding to say she had a perfect body shape because most of you my readers will say that is what I of course noticed first.

Without intent to covet, i admired her dressing and the way she looked. But something didn’t seem so right. Almost 10 minutes past her alight, she was uncomfortably looking through her phone and looking disappointed. Another uber stopped at her location, her friend came out, hugged and talked for what seemed like a minute then she went in and they drove off. She still was left stranded, gazing at her phone and stamping her foot. That looked pretty disappointing to me.

As a man, you have to think fast and as a gentleman i had to think straight. My curiosity about her situation was so high, i exhausted my beverage faster than my usual rate. After 37 minutes of being stranded, i thought, ” she’ll probably head back to her empty dorm / place to sob mainly for two reasons. 1, she was so disappointed that her date stood her up. 2, she wouldn’t have a perfect narrative to her girlfriend who by then was probably having some great evening with her boyfriend.

As a man i thought she’d probably have a 3rd reason to which she wasted out her perfectly put makeup and never landed on a date/ admirer or even luckily get laid. As a gentleman i thought she’d probably have a 4th reason, that she was in need and she wanted a guy indeed. So i paid my bill, for awesome service offered a tip, fastened my tie, took my mini briefcase, bought a 3$ rose outside the Java and took my chase. After all, i was indeed a gentleman. To be continued…

The post THE G’S THOUGHTS: GENTLEMAN SERIES appeared first on .

When it comes to matters of the heart, men tend to fodge a demeanor that depicts their self-entitlement to open doors, to pull chairs, to pay bills; generally, to own the show. I have met ladies who enjoy the vibe of being independent. I have met that other troupe of ladies who hate the kind acts of gentlemanship. They’d rather split the bills, they’d rather bang the door open by themselves, they’d, actually, rather pay your uber to her place other than her coming to your place. Am not even talking of cougars here, boy!

See, how you treat her will determine her reciprocal of her love towards you. There are those that love the gangster kinda love. There are those that love the Shakespeare kinda love. And…there are those that are mirrors; you show them love, they show it back, you show them cruelty, they give the same measure.

21st Century needs only 3 major tactics to win her heart. Attention, Time and Physical Touch.

Give her attention. Factly, ladies love attention. So much. So much, I say.

Invest in your time together. Get to know her well. Get to know how she responds to certain actions. Talk, bond, be concerned and give full ATTENTION.

Physical touch is, scientifically, believed to strengthen bonds. Appropriate physical touch will win you awards in her heart. Pay attention to details. Know the buttons to press when having that good time together.

Before my last fullstop, gentlemen, buy them food.

The post UNFAMILIAR WAYS TO WIN HER HEART appeared first on .

Asking for sex can be the hardest nut to crack. Gathering the appropriate words and involving the paramount physical manoeuvre might sometimes be the greatest debacle.

Sex requests for consent. Without consent before coitus, we shall have to call that shit rape. Both parties must be in the right mood. They must be willing to divest up to the last drop of the panties and get the feelings to a mutual state.

Ideally, a gentleman doesn’t ask for lungula, at least not directly. A gentleman should be able to play around with the magical tactics that will bring the lady into the circle of his desire.

Bringing her senses to meet yours is very essential. Fact check is you will have to ignite her hormones for her to be on the same page with you.

But the big question strikes, is it really the role of the man to inquire for a genital meeting? How many times has your girl asked for sex? zero times?

I believe sex is a mutual action. Both parties are entitled to make a move. I slide down to my memory lane and recall this lady friend who was asserting that she can never stoop too low to ask a man for sex. she said, ”How will he even think of me? a slut maybe? sex addict perhaps.”

Copious ladies live with that mentality. They have the fear that men will brand them names neighbouring prostitution the moment they declare their sexual thirsts.

It’s a changing world. Every lady should feel entitled to ask for sex from THEIR lover whenever they feel the need. On the other flip, men should not be quick to judge when the lady asks for sex. After all, she is your lady and she deserves the bedroom snack.

Ladies, it’s about time you surprised us mahn. I can’t contradict with the scientific proof that men are always ready for sex. With that said, please go a head and demand for whats yours. I hardly doubt if a real gentleman can deny his queen the bedroom snack, not unless he is feeding from another pot.

Every man’s dream is to be raped by his lady, can I get an AMEN as we head to part 4 of this series…

The post IS IT REALLY A MAN’S ROLE TO ASK FOR SEX? appeared first on .

How you behave on your first date determines whether you are going to get your second date with her or not. As a gentleman, you should know the arithmetic logic of earning you points on your first date with that lady you have always wanted to impress.

I tend to see ladies like that tray of eggs; you just have to handle them with care and pay close attention to the surrounding. Reality check is that you are not the only one hitting on her. she has over a hundred dudes buzzing her dial, about 4 hindu guys sending her dick pics in her DM, 40 other matches on tinder, classmates and colleagues who are in the queue as well, and then there is you, a good looking gentleman with standards and class.

Here is the leakage to how you are going to win her heart on your first date.

• KEEP TIME

Keeping time is paramount in all perspectives of life. You should be there before time so that you can choose the best spot for a cool vibe and also relax. You should not be the type that keeps her waiting. she can’t wait for Jesus to come back and still wait for you, no bruh.

• DRESS TO IMPRESS

Drip. first impression really matters. How you dress speaks a lot about you. You don’t want her to go back home having negative considerations about you just because you had that Arsenal jersey, buggy jeans and some rusty sport shoes on. don’t slip up like that. Get a fitting suit and match your way to that date. Be dapper.

• KEEP YOUR PHONE AWAY

Well of course you are curious to know who texted or who tried to call you. Just don’t do it while on that date. Give all your attention to her. she needs it. Girls are naturally attention seekers and the moment you deny her that ‘right’, you lose her. put your phone on silent mode and deep it into your pocket. sometimes shit happens, your ex might call that very moment.

• MAKE HER FEEL COMFORTABLE

Smiling is enough to make her feel free with you. Don’t make the date feel like an interview. listen to her while she talks, pay attention to details, they love that (trust me on this.) Be funny a little and you will see the waves flowing smoothly.

• PAY BILLS

Before you suggest where to meet her for the date, its always good to chose a place that your wallet can handle. I’m not talking about a cheap restaurant. Choose a posh yet affordable restaurant where she can enjoy the jiffy without feeling insecure. ensure your credit card or wallet has enough dough to cater for the date.

• DON’T RUSH TO IT

A gentleman takes everything slow. There is a process to everything. yes, some people smash on the first date, but you are not some people, you are that real gentleman. Let that sink in for a moment. If you want her for a long term, then you should ‘marinate’ her well. Give her time to gain trust in you and be comfortable with your bedroom demeanour.

• MAKE SURE SHE GETS HOME SAFE

After the date, you should always ensure that she gets home safe. whether it’s driving her home or getting her an uber. This will show how much you care about her safety.

The post HOW TO BEHAVE ON YOUR FIRST DATE appeared first on .

A popular myth repletes the air, ” Gentlemen went to the grave with Wiliiam Shakespear.” Whether that’s true or false, or both, we just don’t want to give a hoot in this century. Being a gentleman is a lifestyle that every guy should savour, period.

Every guy is expected to carry himself in a manner that depicts high standards. When approaching a girl, do it in style. When on a date, do whats needed (am not even talking about the bills here.)

Bruh, you are representing a whole bunch of us out there. Treat her like a queen, dress up, speak up, walk your talk and always…always level up. Don’t be a reason why we are called dogs…

In this series I just wanna cover the do’s and don’ts, the must and must nots in a mans life. we need to stand up and act up like real men. its about time we shared a code. you ready?

The post THE GENTLEMAN SERIES appeared first on .