To a playboy, nothing is exact. You should expect a lot of surprises that are not really positive or thrilling when you are dating a playboy. Though you could know these things already if you are in a relationship with one. Nothing is ever certain when it comes to these type of men. He caters for you and can be charming and sweet enough to be there for you but commitment can be as scary to him as death is to anyone. Nothing is certain with him. Nothing!

They tend to put you on the edge every now and then, If the playboy is a skilled one, they will groom you to be the crazy one. They simply keep you on your toes and proactive enough to protect the title of being their girlfriend. This actually happens alot but y’all should know,
you are not the only one and you will never be the only one. What I mean to say is,never feel too comfortable with the role of being their girlfriend. Since at the end of the day there is a strong chance you are not the only one or won’t be.

Once you love them and continue dating them,It is always so hard to let go. Being a girlfriend to a playboy makes you silently committed to him. This is because it is always so hard to walk away when you know your space will be filled immediately when you depart. You need to know that the man is the ideal flirt.You would know he is a playboy when he is with other women. How does he act with them around? Does he flirt with them simply to receive attention from them?

Sex is the theme of your relationship. From the first date to yesterday, it is more about the sex rather than other elements of a serious relationship. It is never about verbal communication or plans about how your relationship will become more progressive. They are more into the the coochie than you.
A play boy is never willing to show you to his friends or family. It is just you and him. He is not about you seeing other members of his family or intimate friends. He just wants to keep it casual. He doesn’t even want to meet your friends or family too.

Trust you me when I say this but you have a good looking man with you. He is charming not only to you but to everyone. He wants to be on top of his game and that means he has to constantly keep in shape, he doesn’t mind if this means he has to go to the gym every now and then.
You also
have an insecure man with you
Your relationship with him is not constant or solid. Actually he is always mysterious about personal things. You would rarely have him tell you about his dreams, aspirations or insecurities. They are just protective about personal data. He wouldn’t want you to use these things against him at some point.

He is not spending lots of money on you. The KFC’s and all are just a mystery to him. When you are in a relationship with a play boy you can expect some nice things but this will never go overboard. They tend to have the ideal script of using some money to lure you in, but this is never extensive.

There is no clarity in the relationship. The relationship can be vague and mysterious. He is never giving you every detail about his whereabouts or what he is up to when he is not with you.
Birds of the same feather flock together right? All his friends are playboys. Don’t think you are stuck with a gentleman when your man has friends and buddies who are always talking about women and hooking up every now and then. Playboys hang around other playboys, period.

Buckle up because this a ride y’all women tend to avoid but you need to walk away before it all goes astray. Stay happy sister.

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“So when are you gonna give us ‘good news’?”

This is a question that most women start hearing before their honeymoon is even over! Aunties, Uncles, friends and even your own parents can’t wait for you to announce an upcoming baby – almost the minute the nuptials have concluded! Here’s what you can say to make them feel awkward, and mind their own business in the future, “As soon as I figure out how. Any tips, suggestions, or favorite position?

How much do you earn?”

Asking a person her salary is considered to be really bad manners. But there are times when you have to put up with such queries. So, how to answer this stupid question? Keep a straight face and reply, “Well, enough to hire a taxi that’ll take me far away from such questions”.

“Why have you put on so much weight?”

There’s hardly any woman who likes to discuss her weight gain in public. However, some annoying people can really bog you down with such questions. Giving a snappy answer to this stupid question is the best way to put a full stop to discussions. Say something like, “Oh! It’s just my prosperity showing on my body. Seems like life isn’t treating you so well.

“Why are you always so busy?”

You’re tired and overworked and then have to put up with these questions and the lamentations that follow. Keep your cool and come up with a witty answer that’ll end the complaint. “I didn’t know you had all the time in the world to miss me so much. I wish I was as free as you are!” is a great comeback!

“Are you looking older?”

You may want to run for cover than answer, but the better bet is to reply with a funny answer to the stupid question like “Old is gold! Can’t you see the shimmering aura around me? If not, maybe you need those bifocal glasses.”

“Why are you looking so tired?”

In spite of the fact that people know how hard you work to balance your family and work life, they keep asking this question. Don’t let them get to you, however; instead, give a naughty reply that might embarrass them. Wink and say, “Guess!”

“Is that a new haircut?”

There are several answers to this kind of a question.

“No, there’s a dial on my back that makes it longer or shorter” or
“It’s my new wig, did they fit it incorrectly?” You can also tell them, “Actually, it’s my sister’s but I liked it so much I stole it from her.”
That will get them of your back for a minute.

 is that really your car?
This is when a person is kind of jealous of you and you’ve got to give them a dose of what they deserve. We have three options here
Option 1: “No, it’s my stupid person killing machine. Would you stand right there for just one more second please.”

Option 2 : “No, it’s my personal time machine.  When I push this pedal here on the floor, 10 minutes later it transports me somewhere else.”

Option 3 : “No, it’s the grand prize award for the smartest person I meet today.  Could you excuse me, I need to talk to the guy standing behind you.”

 [to a man with an armful of firewood] “Are you going to build a fire?”
This one got me laughing as I wrote it,the one getting these kinds of responses deserve it.

“No, a nest.  I need someplace to lay my eggs.”

“No, I’m going to build a two hundred story building out of twigs.”

“No, it’s just that I can’t stand a sloppy forest so I thought I’d pick up a little here and there.”

See you next Thursday folks.

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The ugly

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
Then they call me ugly and poor.

Cheers! To the other side

Two men meet on opposite sides of a river.  One shouts to the other, “I need you to help me get to the other side!” The other guy replies, “You’re on the other side!”

Never!

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.

Rain

Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has “reigned” there for years.

How can I work for him
“I just left my job,I cannot work for that man after what he said to me.”
“What did he say to you?”
“You’re fired!”

Meanwhile,at the world cup

A man was at the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbour says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

Ooo Heaven is a place on earth

Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn’t hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It’s Irv. ‘So there is an afterlife! What’s it like?’ Sid asks. ‘Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back to sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex, take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep and wake up the next day.’ ‘Oh, my God,’ says Sid. ‘So that’s what heaven is like?’ ‘Oh no,’ says Irv. ‘I’m not in heaven. I’m a bed,around koinange street.’

The Devil’s in the details

A guy dies and is sent to hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in dirt up to their necks. The guy says, ‘No, let me see the next room.’ In the second room, people are standing in dirt up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally Satan opens the third room. People are standing with dirt up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating pastries. The guy says, ‘I pick this room.’ Satan says Ok and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, ‘OK, coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!

Young Sheldon

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’

You’re one in a million

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

The faster you are…..

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, ‘What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.’ ‘I don’t need to outrun the bear,’ the first guy says. ‘I just need to outrun you.’

The three magic words

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for Ksh 300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays Ksh 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my…house!’

Till next time folks,ciao adios!

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The police man and the chicken

A police man went to a kuku joint and kept staring at a roasted chicken,the man selling the kuku noticed this and asked the police man if he wanted some, the police man then replied “sharrap!” I’m arresting this chicken for immoral dressing.

Brain got jokes

Imagine you entered an exam hall and your brain whispered to you “I will be outside waiting for you”.

The non-smokers

Those who don’t smoke don’t make sense just like don’t smoke spelt backwards is “ekoms t’nod” it doesn’t make sense, more weed please.

Take a deep breath,just do it

Guys have you ever mistakenly zipped your trouser together with your cassava? How sweet was it??

It ain’t the rope,nope

Stop blaming the rope for being too short, instead blame the well for being too deep.

Come on man, it’s matrix

She invited you for her matrix and you are going with condoms. May thunder fire that your lower region.

The “boss”
Smoking weed before going to work is extremely dangerous, I almost sacked my boss.

The blind

When people say they can’t see anything in you, hug them and say“life is difficult for the blind”.

Love hole

Some of us Nobody loves us at all even if we run to the top of a mountain & shout I love you
The echo will even reply”you’re mad ooh”

What’s up with you man?

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?

What?

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’

It’s a high wall, you dig?

Did you guys hear the joke about the high wall? It’s hilarious,I’m trying to get over it.

I hope that got you laughing for a while. Same time,same place next Thursday.

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