1.BE CLEAR WITH HER.

If you are looking for miss right out there or you just need your lady to feel all good and a bag of chips, be certain on what you want with her. Clarity is key She will feel empowered and this helps you both to immense into complete happiness. As j. cole once twitted “Lack of communication leaves too much room for imagination. Communicate your feelings, never assume anything and your relationship will end up being an ‘I do’ journey.

2. LISTEN TO HER

A lady who feels like her opinions and interests are put into consideration will feel relaxed and we all know some women even prefer being respected than being loved. Not that she doesn’t want those midmorning calls just to be told ‘I love you’ by her mans, but listening to your lady’s ideas and putting her thought into consideration is a whole other kind of intimacy.

3. DON’T THINK OF SEX ALL THE TIME

You don’t need to think of sex every time you are with your girl. She will find it attractive when she sits with her mans and have deep thoughts, talk about the future and all. There are different kinds of connection yet mind connection seems to be the rarest of them all and when you just get it, it’s impossible to leave it. Guys focus on having the rare things in a relationship right and the others will follow.

4. MAINTAIN THE CONSISTENCY

Security in a relationship is all about consistency. A lady will stretch the same energy you give her. True, she is an incubator and it will make such a good relationship when you come out with the same energy all the way. Whether it’s your first year or your third year, you must make sure that she feels as loved as the first time you met her. I am not saying there won’t be ups and downs but I mean, if you are meant to be, it will not be a tedious task to keep up with the same direction you started with.

5. DON’T LET HER FEEL LONELY

Guys! guys! guys! listen up! Being present in your relationship is a necessity. I mean, why would you want to be in a relationship yet you don’t show who you are in your fullness? The worst fault you could do in a relationship is to let your mamma feel lonely. That means you must knock the door with all you got. Don’t hold back and you will see how interesting your relationship will be.

6. LEAD THE RELATIONSHIP.

Men naturally are leaders. Don’t argue with me. You have more responsibility to carry on. Lead your relationship. No lady likes a man who cannot decide on anything for both of you. It is very intriguing for a lady when her king says ‘we are going for dinner tonight’ other than ‘can we go for dinner tonight?’ you see the difference, don’t try to give your munchkin room to see your lack of direction. I speak for all ladies when I say, there is something attractive with a confident man. it’s not that she likes a ‘bad boy’, it’s the confidence he has that ignites her sparks.

7. BE HONEST WITH HER

What can’t a lady give for honesty? I mean, an honest man is just close to God. She wants to know what are your genuine thoughts. She wants to fully trust you and guys, everything in a relationship is given other than trust. You have to earn your queen’s trust. why don’t you be open and give her information that will satisfy her curious mind? When a lady doesn’t get answers to what she is asking, her mind starts to perambulate and you don’t want to give your lady space to think because most likely, she will overthink.

8. PAY ATTENTION TO HER

I have sat with my girlfriends and I have heard the phrase ‘he doesn’t get me’ more times than I would ever want to hear. I mean, men. What happened to paying attention to her? She just wants to be seen, to be heard. It goes from knowing her favorite candy to knowing her future dreams and interest. Nothing turns on a girl when her mans gets her a bottle of water as he goes to get his without even asking. Show that you care. I mean, it is just that simple, you don’t need to go overboard to impress your pumpkin. Even giving her a nickname.

9. BE ROMANTIC

She loves sex as much as you do. She wants you to grab her by the waist and hug her from behind. She wants her hair messed up. She likes it when you give her kisses especially neck and forward kisses. She wants to feel the romance. Keep it interesting in the bedroom and in the relationship generally. It’s all she is asking for. Treat her as you are trying to win her heart all over again.

The post 9 Things Ladies Need In a Relationship appeared first on .

The economy is not that good. And the fact that this year’s Valentine’s day is falling on a week day makes it even worse. We however still have to make it count for our lovers. That small gift can go a long way.

It’s not necessary to buy him an expensive gift. Just buy him something that will make him feel appreciated. You could be wondering what are these affordable yet exquisite gifts that I can buy for my man?

Here is a list of some of the gifts that you may get him. They are gifts that are cheap, for a budget of below Ksh 1000.

Smart temperature sensing ring
Men love rings. This particular ring not oy decorates the finger buf also measures the temperature. It comes in different sizes and colour. It has the new technology of smart sensing and still maintains its fashion style.

Wallet
There is a quote that goes something like, “a complete man must have a wallet, watch and a belt.” Of course, if you want a complete man, why don’t you get him a wallet where he can put his money and cards. It feels great seeing your man fish out a wallet to pay for a bill – it’s a total turn on.

Shoes
Every man is a fan of shoes. These particular lightweight shoes can go with any outfit, be it jeans, cargo pants or even casual official wear. They are multi-purpose yet classy. Being that they are also breathable sneakers, he may still use the shoes on his morning run, or at the gym.

Slim jacket
You could have opted for a jacket. But a slim jacket ultimately sounds like a better idea. Why? Because it can be worn in any weather – cold or hot season. Slim jackets makes a man look fancy, neat and dapper. The jacket may also be worn with any outfit – be it casual or official.

Watch
Like we earlier said, a complete man must have a watch too. Buying him a watch for Valentine’s will be a very good gesture to him.

Laptop backpack
This could be unexpected. Out of all the gifts a lady has ever bought a man, I doubt if a laptop bag was part of it. This means that you not only care about him but also his belongings. Buy him that laptop backpack and wait for his reaction.

3Pcs men casual laptop backpack
We are still on the backpacks. Only that this time this one comes in threes. You buy one backpack and you get other two small ones inside thr backpack. Ladies’ handbags are common for this (having other pcs in one big bag) and now, men can also enjoy this heaveness of having ‘children’ of a bigger bag. Surprise him, will you?

The post Cheap Yet Exquisite Gifts To Buy Your Man For Valentine’s appeared first on .

Here are 10 tips for a healthy relationship

1. Make “me” time a priority

This is probably the most important thing to wrap your head around. What does “me” time have to do with enriching “us” time, you ask? Well, to nurture your relationship with another person, you first need to connect with yourself. That means self­love. This goes further than spa days (although those are lovely!). It’s about spending quality time alone every day and doing something you love, maybe reading a book, taking a bath, spending time in nature, meditating, journaling, etc.

Make a list of all the nourishing things you love to do and then make a conscious decision to choose time for you every day. Write it in your calendar. By taking this time, you’ll not only fill your own cup, but you will also have more resources—energy and patience—for your partner and their needs. Having a morning and/or evening routine is often successful, especially if you have kids. It will ensure that you’ve chosen time for yourself either before the distractions of the day get in the way or after the kids have gone to bed and your house quiets down.

Another important and effective way to have regular personal time is to let your partner know in advance that you need 30 to 60 minutes for yourself on occasion. This gives your partner the opportunity to support you, while also knowing they have the option to have their own “me” time, since it’s something we all need. Sharing your goals will also keep the air clear and avoid any miscommunication between you.

Making time for yourself is one of the healthiest ways you can maintain your relationship, however contradictory it may seem. Work to make “me” time a habitual practice in your life.

 2. Ask questions beyond just “How was your day?”

At the end of a long day, we tend to mentally check out of our lives and, consequently, our relationship. We rely on the standard question, “How was your day?” But because we hear that question so often, many of us will reflexively just respond with the bare minimum: “Fine. How was yours?” This does nothing to improve your connection and can actually damage it because you’re losing the opportunity to regularly connect in a small way.

If your initial “How was your day?” doesn’t spark much conversation, try asking more creative follow-up questions: “What made you smile today?” or “What was the most challenging part of your day?” You’ll be amazed at the answers you’ll get, with the added benefit of gaining greater insight into your significant other.

3. Communicate to solve conflict

As with anything, open communication is necessary when it comes to building and maintaining a healthy relationship.

And in a long-term relationship, calm, open, and constructive communication is essential when it comes to solving conflict since no interpersonal bond ever comes truly free from conflict.

4. Accept differences.

One of the biggest challenges we experience in relationships is that we are all different. We can perceive the world in many ways. Certainly astumbling block that we come across when we try to build relationships is a desire or an expectation that people will think like we do and, in this way, it is so much easier to create a rapport. We feel more comfortable when we feel that people “get” us and can see our point of view. Life, however, would be very dull if we were all the same and, while we may find it initially easier, the novelty of sameness soon would wear off. So accepting and celebrating that we are all different is a great starting point.

5. Don’t assume your partner knows what you want and need from him/her

Assumptions like this can breed resentment and disappointment when it turns out your partner isn’t aware of a particular need.

It’s not uncommon to have thoughts like, “If she really cared she would just know to do X.” The problem with this is that we all have different expectations of each other. We often learn these expectations implicitly — from observing our parents, or from movies, or from friend’s relationships. We’ve all learnt different strategies for different situations, so our assumptions of what is appropriate are likely to differ.

Talk with each other about what you need and what you prefer. For example, “When I storm out of an argument in tears, it makes me feel cared for if you follow me to comfort me,” or “When I storm out of an argument in tears, I’d really appreciate it if you’d leave me alone to clear my head, so I can come back and discuss it when I’m calm.”

6. Make time to be a couple

This one is especially important if you have children.

One of the biggest relationship vulnerabilities is child-centered marriages. Sometimes when you become a family, you forget what it’s like to be a couple.

Some people struggle with feeling selfish if they make time for themselves. It can feel like they’re not putting their kids first, which can be hard!

7. Support your partner

Having a heart that is dedicated to serving others and assisting them to accomplish their desires & dreams will always get you further in life. Partners in a relationship should have this kind of heart. It does not mean that one forgets about themselves and their wellbeing. It only indicates that you should serve your partner and encourage them to do the same for you. In this way, you build each other up and grow stronger as a couple as well as an individual.

8. Respect your partner

Having respect for someone means that you see their unique qualities as being valuable in making them exactly who they are. Moreover, you take their desires seriously. Respect allows the partners in the relationship to foster and create equality between them. Moreover, it allows them to be thoughtful and consider each other in every decision that affects them. Care and concern in a relationship are both a result of mutual respect in a relationship.

9. Don’t Forget the Small Things

Saying please and thank you shouldn’t be reserved for the company. Manners are important – even with the person you’ve been with for 20 years. Extend the same respect to your spouse as you would to a visiting guest. Say please and thank you, make polite conversation and why not offer your partner a drink? A few manners and niceties will go a long way to maintaining a culture of mutual respect.

10. Be appreciative.

No really, show your love and appreciation on a consistent basis and not just on holidays, birthdays and when you “want something.” Feeling appreciated is a basic human need and sometimes in the mad rush that comprises our days, we forget that a simple “thank you” or a special little gift (for no real reason at all) or simply carving out a little extra time for each other can sweeten even the best of relationships.

The post 10 Tips For A Happier Relationship appeared first on .

There have been so many people who made the decision of taking back their lovers to school. Some end up well, while some, you know, fail.

It is absolutely not a bad idea to pay school fees for your partner. Infact, it’s always good when both of you are learned and can make sober decisions together. After all, having a high education level is always a plus in the relationship.

However, some men don’t like the idea of women having higher qualifications than them. It is quite unfortunate that most men think women who are highly educated are proud and disrespectful.

Men like having the voice in everything, including having high education status. With the evolving century, women empowerment has seen women enrolling to courses that were only known for men. Also, some men have reinforced the idea of schooling girlchild by taking their girlfriends to school, and fully paying the school fees.

Why do people pay school fees for their lovers?

People make the dire decision of taking their women to school with various reasons. These reasons include:

To show love

Love can be shown in different ways, and among them is by paying school fees for your lover. There are different love languages, and everyone is entitled to one or two.

One would take his or her lover to school just to appreciate the lover, show love and even express their affection.

Sees a future with you

Paying school fees for a lover is an investment. Most people do it when they see a future with you.

Increasing your partner’s education level will enable both of you to grow together. Also, escalating education level means more future opportunities for your relationship/marriage.

Wants you to be independent

Women empowerment has created spaces for women to elevate their status in the society. And men have joined to scale the empowerment even higher by schooling their partners.

Your partner might take you to school so that you may be independent and productive on your own. So that even when anything happens, you still can support yourself.

Social status

High education level in the society is a label that everyone yearns. A man who has schooled up to higher levels will always want to have his wife to be on the same level.

The post Reasons Why People Pay School Fees for Their Patners appeared first on .

1. Pay attention to your mental health
Taking heed to your mental health is paramount. You should take care of your mind as much as your paying attention to your physical health. Stimulate it, challenge it, be conscious of what you’re exposing your mind to on a daily basis, and look after yourself. The same goes for your family and friends, make sure you are there for them whenever they may need you.

2. Love yourself
Always remember to love yourself. Embrace your flaws, know your strength. Take rest when need be and always take care of your self. When you love yourself, love will come to you.

3. Get rid of toxic people
We are living in a century where everyone is ready to judge anyones actions, other than correcting them. You’ll meet many toxic friends and even relatives who point out your flaws everytime. Get rid of such people. If it’s on the internet block them. If it’s your friends or relatives, dodge them. Your peace of mind is important.

4. Sleep
You will never have such enough time to sleep. Take advantage.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask
If you don’task, you won’t get it. Don’t be afraid to ask for the things you want or need. Whether it is an opportunity that you want to pitch or it is asking that girl for a date, the choice is in your hands to make the change.

6. Chase your dream job
This is the best time to challenge yourself. You should persist, move around and be as creative as possible in your career. Now is your opportunity to mess up a few times, work in a job you hate, get back up and then find your dream job. You will be glad you worked hard for it and you will be proud of yourself for trying.

7. Make time for your friends and family
With the advancement in technology, it has become easier to connect with people who are far to a point of forgetting the ones around us. It is important to make time for your friends and family. Check up on them. They are the ones who will come through when you need any kind of help.

“You’ll never be as young as you are today, go out and do something.”

The post 7 Things you should do in your 20s appeared first on .

Word has been out there already that girls bring themselves down – that they are their own downfalls. And that is nothing far away from the truth. Your friends will want to see you do good, but not better than them.

What are these dark traits, you ask. Here are those traits that makes girl-friendships look bad. Feel free to add some in the comment section, or also share an experience.

Competition
Female friends compete so much. This could be openly or just under the water. They will want everything you have. They will go extra miles to just purchase what you purchased. Sometimes they’ll do this to make you feel jealous or feel small.

Whilst these friendships are fun to be around with, the unhealthy competitions might make you feel depressed and low. The worst of it is that they don’t show the competitions straight forward. You will just use common sense to realize your friend is trying to be better than you.

Sometimes they openly ask the price of the things you have. Be it the weave, the gloss, or the dress. They will want to know the price so that they may but the same, or just hit you with the, “they overcharged you, I know where you can get a cheaper one.”

Jealousy
Jealousy is common in these friendships. Yes, they are your friends but like I said earlier they don’t want to see you doing better than them. They want to be on top. They want to be the focus.

They will get mad at you anytime you pull out with a new dress or a new hairstyle. They will pretend to like it, but deep down they hate it that you are stunning.

Jealousy can also come in when you are in a happy relationship. They will do anything to see you suffering or having hard times with your boyfriend. They might end up giving you bad advice or even discouraging you. It is always best to not share everything with your female friends, especially your love life. But can you?

Disappear during hard times
You will realize that most of these friendships are there when you are happy, having a good time and just vibing. But what happens when you hit rock bottom? You find yourself alone. Yes, right.

Most of these friends hardly come through when you are going through hard times. They will give all sorts of excuses to just distance themselves from you.

This could answer why most ladies prefer having male friends. Male friends are, undoubtedly, loyal. They will help you and won’t go around talking about it to others.

Back biting
They will laugh with you, then later laugh at you. This is common in these cliques. They will praise you in your face, tell you everything you want to hear, then later talk all the negatives that they held back.

In as much as it’s good having friends, it’s also good to not share every detail about your life. Because you don’t know how that detail will be used later.

The post The Dark Traits in Female Friendships appeared first on .

It is hard for these traits to go unnoticed. Some do it for fun, just to see someone angry or overreacting. Some troll because they believe in something, some which could be perceived as negative by majority. They go hard in protecting their beliefs and condemning any view that seem to contradict with theirs.

Social media has given everyone the power to speak their minds and share their lifestyle. Trollers take this opportunity to pull down others. A few weeks ago, Kagwe Mungai decided to hit back on Twitter trollers who had invaded his space. Unfortunately, it never ended well. Tweeps went back to troll him even more.

Dealing with trolling can be a pain in the ass. Here are the three simplest ways to deal with internet trolling:

1. Ignore them
When you argue with a fool, you’ll also look like a fool. When you are trolled online, the best way to deal with it is by ignoring them. It’s even much better if you don’t read their comments. Replying to their trolls will only mess up your energy. You might end up feeling low, worthless and unloved. Ignore them, and live your life.

2. Diffuse with humour
Majority of internet trollers poke into other people’s feelings through comments that might come out as sarcasm. You can reply with sarcasm as well just to push them away. Their happiness is earned when you get angry, when you involve your feelings in their actions. Don’t let it go to your head, just hit back with humour or sarcasm.

3. Block them
All social media platforms have the option of blocking. It is there for a purpose. When someone gets in your nerves, just hit the block button and forget their actions. Blocking saves you all the drama of trollers. It prevents them from viewing any of your posts and online activities.

The post 3 Simplest ways to deal with internet trolling appeared first on .

Many are those that tend to choose on the right path no matter how ugly a situation is like and in the end they sum up to be winners or conquerors in their various flaws that show up.

This is determined by how much one realises their strengths and works in their best and possible ways to come out a winner.

The other side of the coin is, well as we all know, the wrong and dreadful decisions that tend to veer us off the right track and put us into that bottomless pit where we can’t get a hold of ourselves.

These are the major groups, definitely with another being at a point you know nothing to do with decision making.

Here’s a brief guide onto choosing to do what is right this new year:

KNOWING YOUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES
This is key for everyone. We are all wired differently and we need to know very well how well we are good at handling some situations. Are you they type that would run up and down in circles when something happens or be the one that is calm and is ready to accept the challenge and figure out something to ‘save’ yourself.

How good are you are at solving issues, but let’s call them challenges? If not, have an open mind with a person you feel comfortable with or one with experience like a counsellor to help.

TAKE KEEN INTERESTS ON THE CONSEQUENCES OF ACTION TO BE TAKEN
Always there is that little person in us that tells us “NO!” Or “YES!” to some particular action that we think of doing. Are you careful to spot down and listen to what they have to say?

Always ask yourself, “Is what I’m about to do important, if yes will someone he proud of the action I took? Then would God be happy that I did this?” If they all have a positive response to what is about to be done, then go ahead.

Give a deep thought into what could be the results of your actions.

WHAT DID HE DO?
A question some ask. This is brought with the fact that some people have undergone the same challenge at some point in life. Truth is you’re not the only one going through the same. All that matters is, how will you handle the situation at hand?

We could search for someone who had the same and skills how they did cope with that. More like a mentor into the same situation you are going through.

So, find that person. It just could be your close friend or relative who is within your reach.

PUTTING IT TOGETHER
With the ups and downs and busy schedule, we should create some time off specifically to self reflect on our selves. Identify our challenges and how well we will handle that. Have a check up book to note down any possible thought you give into solving a missing puzzle in your life.

Be composed and ensure you give it your best.

BE GREATFUL
Challenges are meant to make us stronger, not to put us off. Instead of worrying be greatful that you’re growing and that you are now able to make important decisions in your life. See yourself as achieving already and make sure this becomes a habit, to always be a conqueror.

These, I hope, help you to do what is right and keep trouble off your bay.

QUOTE
The day I cease to to the right thing, is the day I cease to be a leader.
~Nelson Mandela

The post WHAT TO CONSIDER WHEN MAKING A DECISION appeared first on .

With the advancement in technology, the internet has become part of our day to day preoccupations. We spend more time on social media, more than we spend time with our friends and family.

Social media platforms are good avenues to meet new friends, network with like minded individuals and even get soulmates. Of course you have heard of a couple who met on Facebook and got married, haven’t you? That’s what’s up.

Millennials and genrration Z are becoming addicts of these new and fresh inventions. It’s even ‘uncool’ to not have an instagram account. You are not on Instagram? What are you doing with your life? They’ll ask.

With the continuous use of these platforms, it has become hard for young people to spend an hour away from their gadgets. It has become an addiction.

In as much as social media is perfect for socializing and networking, it’s addiction may expose you to major harms such as cyber bullying, trolling, and even depression.

Here are 5 ways to deal with social media addiction:

1. Limit your usage
Limiting your time on social media will help you deal with the addiction. You can set specific times to be active. This will help you give attention to other activities and also make you productive.

2. Turn off your notifications
When you stop notifications from disturbing your normal routine, you might find it easier to concentrate on your daily tasks and not get distracted so easily. Notifications are a constant reminder that something is happening in the online world and you might feel like you’re missing out. Turn off the notifications. Do.

3. Get yourself a new hobby
You may have a lot more free time on your hands now that you’re trying to cut down on your social media usage, so why not pick up a new hobby to fill your spare time? You could learn a new skill or do something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time. You’ll probably surprise yourself at how much free time you have when you stop mindlessly scrolling through your newsfeed.

4. Spend more time with your friends and family

Instead of keeping up to date with your friends’ and family members’ lives through a screen, spend time with them in the real world and reconnect with them. Make new memories and keep them personal to you — you don’t need to document everything you do in life with selfies.

5. Meet people in real life
There are so many ways you can meet people in real life. You could volunteer at an organisation, attend an event, organize a get-together where all your friends bring a friend, or get involved in church or school activities. Whatever activity you choose, you’ll be making connections with new people in reality, which totally beats stalking your ex on Facebook, obsessing over celeb’s Instagram feeds, or trying to take the perfect workout selfie.

The post 5 Simple Ways to Deal with Social Media Addiction appeared first on .

What are some acts of kindness that you have performed recently? And how did the acts make you feel?

Being kind doesn’t necessarily mean denying yourself happiness for the sake of others. On the contrary, it means being kind to yourself enough to spread the kindness to others

Kindness vary. There is kindness for self, kindness for others and kindness for nature. And they all matter.

Kindness for self is the act of self love, self care and just being good to yourself. You can decide to take care of yourself, take a rest after a long working day, treat yourself out or just make yourself some delicious food.

Kindness for others involve being good to others, being there for them and helping each other. Acting with kindness towards others matters a lot. We might not know what they are going through or which demons they are fighting. The only way to make them feel better is by showing them kindness. Kindness will not only make them feel safe but will also strengthen the bond.

When we care for the environment, we do it for ourselves. Nature reacts according to how we act towards it. When we care for it by planting trees, it will care for us by giving us shade, food and clean air. It is a reciprocal. Being kind to nature is very paramount. Planting trees, watering them, not littering and keeping the environment clean are some of the acts of kindness towards nature.

What acts of kindness have you performed today, or yesterday or… recently? Join us in celebrating the K3; kindness for self, for others and nature.

The post Kindness Matters Everyday appeared first on .