Motherhood for a small girl like me has meant a lot of things but most importantly, it’s been a blank book full of pages to fill with I know best and questions like; Am I doing it right? Am I enough? What if I fail?

It has been a balance on a string but I can’t deny that it has also been a learning ground for me. Here is a prayer for every young out there like me, God will protect you and your children and He will give you courage for the journey ahead. I know you may have gone through unimaginable circumstances that cause you to question God’s protection and faithfulness. You may wonder, “Where was God when…” and long for an assurance offered by one who has been there.

I’ve been there. And I’ve known fear—the kind of fear that loosens joints and weakens muscles, leaving me in an inconsolable heap on the floor. I’ve known a fear that brought out the protective momma bear within me, willing to fight to the death for my son.

But I’ve also known the deceptively small but pervasive fears that threatened to overtake my life or at least a few minutes: fear of failure; fear of trying new things or meeting new people; fear of illness and injury and death; fear of losing my son, being alone, or marrying the wrong person; fear of confrontation, or checking my bank account balance.

I lived a life marked by fear. But more importantly, I learned to live courageously within the protective arms of the Savior. Motherhood became where I drove my strength from, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. In Him, you will find your strength and protection. In Him, you will find the will to not only survive, but to thrive and embrace the life He graciously gave you.

You will encounter suffering in this world and yet, you have nothing to fear. You can stand firm in the knowledge that nothing can separate you from the love of Christ, and in this hope you will find the courage to persevere.

So do not fear, I celebrate you today. I’m proud of you. You have done your best this far, don’t beat yourself down.

The post What Motherhood Means to Me appeared first on .

1. Tell us a bit about yourself
I am a 27 year old currently live in Mombasa county Homeland Taita-taveta county ,God fearing person, Supportive to young upcoming talented youths ….I do support for support.

2. How did Dingi wear come about?
Dingiwear come about in February 2018 after our contract in sgs company was terminated so I had to think of how will survive and cope with life.

3. Does your work relate to what you studied in university?
Somehow, I did Information Technology ‘IT’ in Institute of Advance Technology ‘IAT’ on some area IT helps me in advertising my products on social media it has helped me on that.

4. Where do you see Dingi wear in the next 5 years?
I am hoping for the best in the next 5 year e.g to be a good example to the community ,to motivate my fellow youths , on the other hand to get investors who can invest in my brand and make it big country wide,which will help creating employment to other people in the country.

5. Due to Covid-19, most businesses are going online, what are you doing to retain your customers?
Actually this pandemic disease covid-19 has brought many business on low levels as per myself I reach my customers online through live program which I do most on Sundays 10am -1pm …they place orders …and I work on them asap then I do free hand deliveries within CBD Mombasa and also do deliveries country wide.

6. What is the biggest challenge in your business?
My biggest challenge is business fluctuation season there is low season and high season in my business in a year, example we got only 3 high season in a year that is April, August and December the other months business is usually low but not that lower.

7. What motivates you to keep going?
I get motivated by my clients who supports me everyday, they make me to come up with best innovations everyday God bless all who supports me.

8. Whom do you look up to? And why?
I look up to be the best designer in town it because I want to be a role model to my fellow youths.

9. What’s the last thing you do before you sleep
The last thing I do before I sleep I check on clients orders whom have place on social media … Facebook, Instagram,Whatsapp etc then do records one after the other.

10. Are you planning to have a branch of Dingi wear all over kenya any time soon? Tell us more
Actually yes I thought of having a branch in Nairobi CBD because I got many clients from Nairobi would like too reach then easly.

11. What is your definition of fashion?
Ladies African swahili sandals all handmade embroidery using beads, these are uniquely arranged to compose a neat flowerly design as seen on the finished product, Each pattern is specially made with sorted beads to encompass the seen pattern.

Sandals are an open type of footwear, consisting of a sole held to the wearer’s foot by straps going over the instep and, sometimes, around the ankle. Sandals can also have a heel. While the distinction between sandals and other types of footwear can sometimes be blurry (as in the case of huaraches—the woven leather footwear seen in Mexico, and peep-toe pumps), the common understanding is that a sandal leaves all or most of the foot exposed. People may choose to wear sandals for several reasons, among them comfort in warm weather, economy (sandals tend to require less material than shoes and are usually easier to construct), and as a fashion choice.

Usually, people wear sandals in warmer climates or during warmer parts of the year in order to keep their feet cool and dry. The risk of developing athlete’s foot is lower than with enclosed shoes, and the wearing of sandals may be part of the treatment regimen for such an infection.

12. Parting shot?

Things are not as important as you make them out to be, so don’t sweat the small stuff. Remember that things don’t make you happy, people do…be more confident in yourself. Know that you are worthy of love and respect. You are young for such a brief time in life, have the confidence to enjoy it and have fun, but be smart.

The post DINGI WEAR OWNER TALKS US INTO HIS FASHION TRAIL appeared first on .

I still remember when I first set my eyes on you, it is a feeling I never want to push away. Your smile that swept me off my feet and your beard that fit perfectly on your face and how you’d tease me about shaving it every damn time, then I’d insist you keep it like it meant a thing to me, oh wait it did~ I had a crush on you.

Since I was just starting my pilgrimage journey that meant I was now going to see you oftenly and wasn’t that a good thing for me? I remember how we started talking, the memory is priceless in my head. It was Wednesday during the normal weekday services, I surge myself in a corner to pray but I didn’t seem to focus. Thoughts of your laughter kept flashing in my head. I got confused, it had been ages since I felt these kinda things. I opened my eyes several times to confirm if you were still in the prayer room, that’s how crazy I got. I went home thinking to myself, sasa huku ni wapi nimejiweka.

I had recently decided that I’m not going to date any guy atleast not until I was done setting my path straight.

That night I remember succumbing to insomnia trying to stalk you but nothing, I found nothing, damn this guy was something I thought. No social media accounts, no where to steal a glimpse of him. I didn’t have your number, ofcourse I had people I could ask from but I reminded myself of my decision and that was it. Thursday morning I couldn’t think straight you had dropped down to my heart and occupied my head like I had given consent for that. On that night I decided to let you know, I couldn’t keep it in any longer. So I asked for your number but texted you the following morning. I did that very early before you could wake up. I don’t know what I was afraid of, but I knew there was no way back from this; there was no escape.

So I made sure to use that time well, said everything I wanted to say, explained everything in black and white and made sure to mention that i wasn’t in love with you and that it wasn’t going to change a thing, that I needed you to help me pray for all these to fade away.

Days passed, we grew close and close. We got to know each other. I remember fantasizing how we were to have so many kids and how you’d be my future husband. Life in my dreams I felt like a princess, like I had all that I wanted. As I set on my pilgrimage I was told that the devil comes in form of everything you ever wanted
Was I letting the devil win? Was I giving him a chance?

I was on a mission and I wasn’t about to trip. So one day you asked if I like you more that just a friend and I denied it. You confessed. You said that you had started falling in love with me and that wasn’t your intention. I was once again in a dilemma, I didn’t know whether to be happy because you felt the same way or sad because I was failing on my mission to pursue God. I was afraid of loosing our friendship so we agreed on terms. That I shouldn’t make you feel special and no more long night calls. It was easy to say yes to that. However, I remember how much I cried that night thinking about all the long night calls we had and how your voice made me the happiest girl in the world.

I don’t know whether I should be thanking you right now , but I miss all the days you made sure to bring me lollipops to church and I chose not to give anyone because my Mr Right bought them for me. I will remember to tell my kids that these were the best days of my pilgrimage journey because it’s the little things that matter
There is this one specific day that I will forever revisit, that day when we decided to watch movies, I came over to your place,we cooked, watched movies, talked and then I watched you sing.

I hope it’s okay to mention that I love the guy you are when holding the strings. You give me goosebumps everytime you are behind the strings. That day it was just the two of us, I remember taking endless pictures and videos of you as you played them and sang. This was my best role because I got to admire you behind that phone without you noticing it. Did I mention that I loved how you held my hands as you taught me how to play the strings? Your closeness to me made my heart pump like never before( I’m refraining from complicating my language, I want you to notice the simplicity of how you made my heart feel).

I kept growing more and more in love. How was I supposed to tell you? You had just agreed to be my prayer partner but in my heart a different agenda was running. How could I be so cruel? My only mistake was loving. Is it right to blame myself? If no then who is to be blamed?

As you saw me off to stage I didn’t wanna leave, I bet you noticed. Did I have a choice? I doubt I hugged you and wished we could stay interlocked for like forever. It wasn’t my place to decide though.

Days passed and they became weeks. That month alot happened in my heart that I can’t fathom. Every day I saw you I wished I could come running hug and tell you how I felt about you, but I decided otherwise and joked about it. Then Covid19 kicked in, lockdown was here and I didn’t have an option to see you, the calls that had now minimised continued. But the chats, the chats grew lesser because the more days passed without seeing you, the more I grew in love.

I’m not a phone kinda person when I love someone. So we hold the discussion and you try to understand how i feel about you but I was still in denial. One day I ask you to forget that I ever mentioned that I liked you and you don’t seem to have an issue with that~ which hurt a little bit‍.

After some days I’m unable to take it in, and I decided to admit that I like you, but I’m confused about the whole thing only to hear you mention that you have someone. ” Sharon you are an adorable lady, but I can only support you from a far because I have someone”. These words came crumbling my heart down, I felt like it was torn into pieces. How could I have missed this detail for this long? How could I have been so blind? Are you asking if I blame you? No, I don’t. I blame myself for being so blind and unsure of myself. But I want to let you know that I just don’t how I can ever undo this. I dated you in my mind for so long. How do people get over a break up when they weren’t even in a relationship?

The post THE LOVE I NEVER HAD (letter, version 3) appeared first on .

HAS THE SOCIETY FAILED, IF NOT THEN WHO?
Months ago my campus friend and I decided to dig into the topic, who has failed? Considering so many youths in campus are living a life that can not be described by a parent it just doesn’t add up who is to be blamed. I remember hearing of a comment from a certain guy “There is a deadline for blaming parents” . In Beautiful Scars we deal with girls who got pregnant at a young age. Several times I have heard people question themselves why I would be interested in young mothers, girls who decided to go away from teachings. Girls who have chosen sex before marriage and wow! Clearly from this, the society puts the blame on the girl.

Then I get to ask myself questions like, did the girl get herself pregnant? Does early pregnancy symbolize permanent failure? Has the girl lost it all? Can’t there be a second chance? Or maybe what everyone needs to ask themselves is this, She got pregnant, what next? What role can I play?Maybe it’s because there are so many women left to raise their children alone, or maybe it’s because there just haven’t been enough men teaching our boys how to be true men. These are just my thoughts.

I know these are the times you say to yourself, when I get a son I’ll teach him about being a man, I’ll let him that he should always take responsibility, right?
Think of it this way, you get a girl instead she grows up and ends up dating a boy who was raised by a young mother.( I know you’re probably reading this and wishing I don’t go there)

Allow me to call a spade a spade and not a big spoon baby, If your daughter gets pregnant who’s gonna be blamed? The boy who wasn’t taught how to love because the mom was raised with so much bitterness after bearing him? Or your daughter whose only mistake was to fall in love?
I was going through some research and I saw that approximately 6/10 of the girls today are going to be single mothers, this really disturbed me . That makes it 60% of the kids in the coming generation. Where is all this heading to?

Because we have now seen our patterns and subconscious beliefs come to life, we must decide what we will carry forward and what we will not.
Who has neglected their role really?
The girl who got pregnant has been subjected to shame, she has not been listened and I wonder what happened to second chances? Don’t they apply here anymore?? This takes me to “As they stood there asking him questions, he straightened himself up and said to them, “Whichever one of you has committed no sin may throw the first stone at her.”
John 8:7 GNB

These are my two cents, a broken mwiko can still finish up cooking ugali; it’s not as useless. Dimming young mothers does not make the pretty girls who aborted saints, the society needs to wake up, we all need to. Let’s help people heal these wounds. The society to overcome the shame they feel, and the girls to start a fresh.

The post A CULTURE OF SHAME TO A CULTURE OF GRACE appeared first on .

Let alone the suffering that we get, for His son; there are marks of death that God chose to never erase in Jesus’ body because He understands the feeling of carrying the scars of wounds once suffered, the wounds which we never want to be reminded, that we wish to bury for as long as we can, the ones we wish no one knew about, and at times we wish we could just go to new places where no one has an idea of how it has been for us, and yes, it’s okay not to be okay.

For so long I felt like I was an alien in my own body, I felt ugly with every stare I got, in the glances I saw judgement, their eyes were painted disgust and patterns that I could not even try to figure out. I was very much afraid of meeting myself from another person’s point of view. I wanted to keep all these to myself then something stirred up in me and slowly I stopped paying attention to these lies I had brought myself to believe. I learnt that it was by these marks I was recognized, that these scars showed just how much I have to had to overcome, that I have been saved from intense pain that I wish to testify of. By the definition a scar is a mark of a healed wound hence physical perfection is not my goal and a glorious life is worth more valuable.

I noticed scars more when I looked around because there was something about these people who showed their scars, so unafraid to be themselves , unmasked, courageous about the scars that shaped them, their vulnerability was magnetic that drew me closer to them. I yearned to hear about their self-acceptance, to hear their stories and see the courage they possess.

To learn people I have then remembered to ask them about their scars and hear of what defines them…to come into terms with what has shaped them, because I believe every scar has a story. When we show out our scars to the world we inspire others to do that. We should therefore wear these scars as badges, and who knows,we may find beauty in these scars we carry.

Even when we have done our best to hide our scars, sometimes they are rubbed to our face by people that are too broken to care, who knows maybe they are also going through such? We break down mercilessly because it actually feels like some flesh has been peeled off our old wounds leaving us bloody and raw again.

Looking back into my past to settle down with the events I wrote down my thoughts, and emotions came filling my mind, long-buried memories came rushing, taking position in my brain once again. This was in an effort to visit my past and at least sort my emotions. With every writing, the lies I made myself believe held less power over me.

I found a life in prayer, it was really beautiful realizing that I had a listening ear. I found out that I wasn’t defined by what people say or see but by who I am in him who called me. God told me that in all these he gave me grace to endure and I felt how he was using my story for his glory.

As much as it has been said, don’t question God, I’d say don’t question his ability; say God if you really are then show me. I remember how much I’d always cry to God because I wanted my issue solved, I wanted answers. With years he walked with me, showed me how to focus on the purpose rather than who is at fault.

He is a God who knew us before the foundations of the world and he therefore calls us uniquely, based solely on his grace

The post THE STORY BEHIND THE SCARS appeared first on .

If I don’t remember anything I try to teach you please never forget where you come from. My urge for you to know God. Remember the men that have walked with you and the men before them who were strong men because they let God guide them. Not because of the possessions they had or the things they had accomplished. You will get caught up in yourself sometimes. You will be humbled sometimes. I’m not a man. The Men i grew up with didn’t portray the best version of a man.

And in my journey to seek the characters I desired in a man..characters i never found, I got you I don’t regret having you. I’m taking you as an opportunity to instill in you the characters of a good manfor Character is built I haven’t been a perfect one but I have tried each day.

I have kept you in my prayers every single day.But the beauty of it all is that God will never leave you even when you walk away. He just stays on the path and guides you right back to him so that you can continue with the journey. I’ve failed time and again; I still do as I write this today. But I promise to strive to teach you what I have learnt.

Never stop trying. Becoming a man doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a constant refining process. Even as a woman I’m constantly day in and day out trying to refine myself and grow… You will fail, you will become discouraged. But never quit. Don’t ever give up on anything you love. Lord knows I pray everyday you become a better man than those that came before you.

A better version of you each growing day. I believe you will. Strive and be the man you were born to be my young King

The post DEAR AZARIAH appeared first on .

Gone are the days when kindness was part of the daily routine or maybe common sense. It was part of being human and growing up…I mean if you weren’t kind you somehow didn’t sound human.

Few years later and we now grown. Though young we realize we are now adults,yes young adults. We become so cautious of this Kindness given to us. It comes sugarcoated,with extreme suspicious caring.
This is when Ken takes me out and I think to myself,he is really a nice guy and he cares alot about me. I zone him where I would zone my girlfriends….he becomes a special friend.

Ken knows he’s not new to this,he knows what he wants.
I go for more dates and I count him so special without any doubts,”you are a very nice girl and I’m happy that you are my friend”.
Lemmi take you to some other world a bit,
Have a look at this,David is a guy I met some days back during my first days in campus,he was a nice guy… the kind my mum told me about when she advised me about staying away from boys until I’m ready…she said a good guy will one day come to me…the guy she described was exactly how David was like when I met him.

Sometimes I thought that maybe my mum was wrong about when “David” would show up in my life.
He was so good… without blemish I’d say…little did I know.
David was so close to me that I wondered what he had seen in me that made him think I’d be a good friend to him. He introduced me to his friends…he would leave them to hang out with me.But,Something was fishy about him,it made me feel good…the fact that his friends weren’t my type….but they appreciated me..told me that they are good and I shouldn’t be afraid of them.They said that people fear them but they believe that they are the most chilled people and good hearted.
I figured out,maybe people just mistake that squad after all…maybe they aren’t as bad.

One day David gets sick and I have to take care of him: returning the favor. …how can such a good soul get sick….his friends ask me to keep an eye on him…it’s their turn to praise him on his behalf. They say that he’s happy I’m there and they think he’s in love with me. David in his bed tells me how much he is grateful…that he’s never had anyone to care for him like I have. He takes me down a memory lane, ” do you know why I can’t get my eyes off you? Do you know why I’ve always been protective of you? Do you know why I treat you so well? Because you are special to me. Because I love you so much since the first day I set my eyes on you. My friends didn’t know why I changed this much since you came. How responsible I got..I want you and I never want to hurt you..please say yes..please”.

He got the naive side of me…I say yes because I feel so special.. because I think he’s genuine. We then have sex because he claims he can’t wait. I go home feeling so good..never had such a feeling in my life.

Three days later..and David is not picking his phone..I try his friends but I realize I didn’t get their contacts.I go to his house and I’m hit with a ” David doesn’t stay here,he was just here because he needed to stay with someone since he was sick” kind of a look. I insist on knowing where he is but he doesn’t tell me…what a hard nut to break. As I left he called me back, ” I wish i knew you earlier i could have warned you,that’s what he does to girls naive like you”
And so I ask, Is Kindness so rare that it’s mistaken for romance?

The post HAS KINDNESS BECOME SO RARE? appeared first on .

If you heard them, then here,
My marriage was a walk in a park before you came into the picture, it was a happy one. I’m not bitter because you have stolen my own man, I’m bitter because you know not your worth.
I can no longer walk in the streets with my head high in fear of questions of how my husband was seen holding hands and kissing with a campus girl last night.
You have won his money with your beauty, but your character won’t maintain that.
This is not me threatening you for taking my husband, this is me bitter because you have belittled the womanhood we ought to have,you have untied the tie I tied in the morning before he left for job, you have stained the same shirt I ironed with your lips, you have broken the bond I built for years, you have shaken a marriage that was spoken to last, you have disrespected a mother, but most of all you have lowered the morals you ought to have, you have been left empty of what was instilled in you to become a principled woman, you robbed kids of a dad.

Before you come to laugh at my face of how you slept with him last night, let this letter find you in the early morning.
Before you receive the tip from his pocket let it remind of the words your mother said.
You are worth more than a married man.
Success ain’t sexually transmitted and so is character.
At the end of my letter, thank you for causing me this shame so hard to escape, thank you for causing me this pain that is so hard to bear.
FROM HER.

The post A LETTER TO THE WOMAN WHO MY HUSBAND LOVES appeared first on .

Is it in how his tie is tied on his suit by his wife in the morning and you the temptress will be the one to take it off that at the end of the day because you are the dog to unleash,
something attractive about these married men.

Is it in how he tells you to keep quite when he has to receive a phone call of his wife to talk about a late night meeting
when he’s actually late night eating

Is it in how they got kids but wish to let you terminate yours and ruin you for the next man that comes to marry you
because these married men are greedy,
these married men want more,
these married men will never stop

They leave their wives as the cornerstone then take the stone that was once dejected by the owner,
then he pause then he holds you and he’s inside of you and you prone to ruin a home,
you smell of him,
something attractive about these married men.

Is it in how his wife prays for him and he walks in the presence of the Lord.
Why would a girl sitting at the back of the church not want to shout Amen because there is something attractive about these married men.

Is it how he will kiss you then he takes out those lips at the dinner table to ask his wife for salt yet he has released his salt and his wife is dying of salt and it’s not her fault.

Is it in how you so deep for him that you want him to wife you forgetting that once there is another wife there will need to be a new Mistress, because there is something attractive about these married men. Something attractive about these married men

The post SOMETHING ATTRACTIVE ABOUT THESE MARRIED MEN appeared first on .