LETTER TO MY DAD
I get into the house after a long day of boredom and the usual teasing at school( I would say bullying but I’ll seem offensive) ,trying to stay optimistic that the day ain’t over and who knows what will come out of it.
I throw my bag to the floor and call out to my mum who seems not to be around as usual. Before I could make another step towards the kitchen I feel two hands on my waist grabbing me tightly and my feet above the ground.
“Hey princess” “Daddy” I say almost like a scream. I was happy, excited, all the joyful terms that one can use to describe a tremendous amount of happiness.
He holds me up and looks at me with his beautiful hazel eyes that clearly reflect mine but reflect more on the glorious moment we are having. A moment of happiness.
He moves to plant a kiss on my forehead and I close my eyes as I get ready to grasp the moment in.
My alarm goes off. It was a dream. The date states its father’s day. I’m not surprised.
I have a thousand reasons to hate you, a thousand more to be disgusted by you, a million to think I may be the reason you ain’t around but none makes any meaning.
I guess I learnt better. You are a part of my co-existence; despite the fact you ain’t here to see me through my existence at all.
You left me with a woman I call my mother but no one to call father.
I long for you so much. One fact about the dreams is that I never reach the part where you could kiss me on the forehead or tickle me or say let’s play cause these I only see from films enough to make me know or guess on what comes next after an embrace.
Funny thing is I can’t even feel the embraces; I tend to think that you may have done it when I was a child and my mind makes most of it seem real in the dreams and I find comfort in an unknown feeling.
As I celebrate you today, I just hope you are alive maybe I’ll meet you someday. For now I hope you have an amazing life than the one I have; and maybe with someone who will appreciate to have you as a father.
Cause I do. I wish you knew.
LOVE,
Your daughter.
