Why You Should Invest Time And Money Where Love ExistsFebruary 13, 2023
Valentine’s day is known to strike men with a blow under the belt. It’s so extreme that the gentleman have to craft some excuses to dodge the dates – some will assert they are working late, some will organize non-existent ‘men’s conference’ while legends will just disappear without proper explanation.
Whilst this is not an Andrew Kibe nor Jordan Peterson masculinity colloquy, it would be best to dissect some truth in this month of love.
It’s with no doubt that the number one reason that men start acting weird on Valentine’s day is because a bigger percentage of people believe men should be the ones spoiling their women on this day. And the second reason could be multitasking (having two partners at the same time). I’m not sure which one holds much weight.
What I’m sure of is where love finds cradle two efforts must be combined. The couple should both play a role in ensuring none feels taken advantage of. And if at all one feels pressed and pressured, they should feel free to speak up and see whether they should call it quits or fix the bug.
It would take a whole chit chat with Gary Chapman to have him convince couples that love should not always be about money and sex, there’s more to it.
If at all the men are after sex and women after money, then why shouldn’t it just be openly transactional. That would otherwise mean that there will be buyers and sellers – a very peculiar way to put it.
True love exists, or so I believe. It only takes you to position yourself in the right paradigm. In as much as there are plenty of people to share love with, there are also plenty of them who just want to tear your heart apart and swagger away like nothing happened.
Ideally, man and woman should come together and help each other grow; spiritually, mentally and even physically. They become each other’s shoulders to lean on. And with this, comes sacrifices, investments and efforts to ensure everything works in their favour.
Until death -scratch that- untill cheating do them part. In this day and era, cheating do most relationships part before death does. The society has glorified cheating that it looks like something fancy. They even sing it in songs like Mejja and Bensol’s ‘Nairobi’ to spread the gospel and agenda further.
Such acts can easily make one hesitate to give their all in a relationship. Minds are replete with ‘what ifs’. Everyone comes across as a suspect of infidelity.
Statistically, divorce cases have skyrocketed in this century than any other in history. Major contributors to this phenomenon is lack of commitment, infidelity and too much arguing.
The internet has made it easier to connect with anyone in any corner of the world. This could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on the lenses you choose to look at it with. You can meet your husband while you’re in bed with your boyfriend. Just a little scrolls on the phone and you could be on your next mission to cheating.
It’s easy that way, if not simple like that.
The elephant in the room remains, is it even worth it to invest time, money and energy in someone who doesn’t love you genuinely?
At the end of the day, it’s the love that you share that matters. Putting out the intentions both of you have in that relationship is also paramount. If you are in it for the money, say it. If you are in it for the sex only, also say it. Save each other’s time. And if you are in it for a true, genuine commitment, put it across.
It feels good knowing that someone somewhere will take a bullet for you any day. It’s the trust that gives assurance, not the presence nor the ‘I love you, I love you too’ mantra.
In this month of love, invest your time, money and energy where love exists. Don’t water a cactus.
As Valentine’s day nears, know whether you are the main or the side. You could be thinking you are the main, only to be served a surprise on that day. Know your position in your partner’s life before you start regretting and pointing fingers.
I know, it could be cliché but why don’t you just hit them with the “what are we?” text and know your position. Do it we see!