8 Signs You’re in a Toxic RelationshipOctober 25, 2021
Everyone yearns to be in a relationship where love is evident, romance is present and happiness is plenty. A relationship where you can be yourself, respect each other, mutual caring, compassion and growth. However, every relationship has its ups and downs – a smooth ride is never promised.
Like any other human interaction, a couple will always have their happy moments and their low moments. They will have moments where they are playful with each other, share a snack, go on road trips together, rain kisses on each other and so on, and so on. Also, there will be those moments when issues will arise; mistrust, dishonesty or anger.
The two phases summarizes a clear picture of what to expect in any given relationship.
In as much as these behaviors may be present in a relationship, there are extends when they can be hurtful, if not detrimental. Once you spot a continuous negative trend in your relationship, that’s a sign that your relationship is morphing from healthy to toxic.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is a relationship where your partner behaves in a manner that is emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically damaging. A toxic relationship is characterized by dominance, control, insecurity and self-centeredness.
It can be extremely draining to survive in a toxic relationship. You might be swept off from important aspects in your life such as:
• Your productivity might go down
• Your mental health might be tampered with
• If you are a student, your grades might flop
• Your interaction with friends and family might also change
Sometimes, one could be in a toxic relationship without noticing. Love can blind you to an extend of believing your partner will change with time. It is advisable to trust your instincts once you notice a red flag from your partner, lest you sink into an abyss of a toxic relationship.
Here are 8 signs that you’re in a toxic relationship
1. Controlling Behaviours
Once you start noticing your partner is being dominant and controlling, that’s a crystal red flag that you’re in a web of toxic relationship. Your partner should be understanding, caring and ready to help you in any aspect of life.
Controlling behaviours are not healthy in a relationship. They depict superiority over the other, which is not good. A couple should see each other as equal and one.
These controlling behaviors may include:
• Blaming you
• Isolating you from friends and family
• Creating unnecessary drama
• Unclear mood swings
• Ignoring you for no apparent reason
• Expressing conditional love
Controlling partners often insist that you do things their way. They will even go extra miles to change you – dictate how you dress, how you talk and even how you behave around people.
Every relationship involves at least a pinch of jealousy. It is normal to feel jealous when your partners does something that you didn’t expect e.g being too friendly to their opposite gender.
However, a toxic partner might not take some things lightly and end up overreacting. Just like a controlling partner, a jealous partner might not find it fit for you to look, dress or talk in a certain way in front of people with the fear that other people might get attracted to you.
A jealous partner might turn your life into a living hell by restricting your day-to-day activities such as being on social media, interacting with the opposite gender or even hanging out with friends.
The perfect medicine for jealousy is always trust.
3. Toxic communication
Communication is key to a lasting and healthy relationship. A couple that communicate how they feel, what they want and what bothers them stay together happily.
In a toxic relationship, communication is occasionally cemented with criticism, sarcasm and hostility. A toxic partner might embrace communication, but his way of communicating may turn you off and blow you out of the arena of love.
Once a relationship is replete with toxic communication, it’s often hard to express oneself, or even engage in a meaningful conversation.
An honest partner is one to cherish and forever trust. Like they say, if you want trust, be honest.
Dishonesty is a spice in a toxic relationship. Your partner might give you unclear information, or recurrent lies that will snatch your patience and trust. It is hard to trust a dishonest person, worse a partner.
Love that is built on lies hardly survive. The lies will eventually break the walls of trust. Once trust is broken, nothing that comes from their mouth will look genuine.
5. No effort
Balancing on a scale of 50-50 effort is always a fair ride. Everyone feels comfortable and happy when efforts are Mutual in a relationship. Partners who don’t put in any amount of effort to help stabilize a relationship are toxic.
They will let you do everything by your own and even throw blames at you when you don’t. A good relationship is where feelings are clear between each other. Where the man Expresses his love and the woman reciprocates.
A toxic partner might send you mixed signals that will automatically confuse you. Some basic efforts that your partner should express include:
• Spend time together
• Go for dates
• Plan the future together
6. Nothing gets resolved
As aforementioned, relationships have their ups and downs. In a healthy relationship, the downs are always fixed but in a toxic relationship, the issues will never be resolved. They will apologize today and repeat the slip-up again tomorrow.
Toxic partners hardly change. They swing on promises of ‘i’ll be a better person, just give me this one more chance.’ But nothing change.
7. Trust issues
Love without trust is as good as null amd void. A toxic partner will always lack trust in you, no matter how many times you prove your loyalty. They will even blame you for unfaithfulness where as you are clean and loyal.
Trust issues are very evident in a toxic relationship. In most cases, the toxic partner will blame you of cheating when they are the ones sleeping around. They play the reverse psychology so as to make you feel inferior and the one always in the wrong.
Trust issues might stem from previous events in the relationship, or constant behaviors such as spending more time on social media.
8. Strip your self esteem
A toxic lover will want to see you inferior and helpless. They will speak ill of you, criticize your looks and even comment negatively on your physical structure. Such occasions strip one’s self esteem and makes you feel worthless.
Their happiness is derived from seeing you feel worthless. They always want to be seen as the bigger person.
Having a positive self esteem is paramount. One shouldn’t be made to feel worthless or inferior in any way. When you notice your partner is being toxic, it is best to walk away from the relationship.
Staying in a toxic relationship is akin poking your own wound. It will drain your energy and even through you into depression. In as much as you love your partner, it is best to protect your mental health and walk away.
Toxic partners sometimes don’t realize they are toxic. This makes them feel they are doing the right thing when in real sense they are putting you in a depressing situation. Red flags will always be there from the start. It is your role to spot them and decide what you want, or how you can fix them before they get worse.
Choose wisely, don’t let the toxic ones choose you.