It is a major source of inequality in Kenya today. It has a profound social and economic impact on families’ communities and the entire nation as well as serious ramifications on national security.

71% of women in this country have reported having experienced physical or sexual violence from their husbands or partners in their life. At Least 10 women with the number rising daily. The perpetrators being youthful males of 18 to 33 years old. Both men and women experience gender based violence but the majority of victims are women and girls.

Much have been written and said on the imperative of intersectionality within the fight for women’s equality and in efforts to end gender based violence.

Just at 16, Pauline was raped by a gang and at 19 suffered domestic violence after an early marriage. Instead of cooing in deep depression, she looked for a way to help women who were going through similar situations. 

The mother of two started a community based organization after experiencing 4 years of physical and sexual abuse from her partner.

“As a survivor of sexual and domestic violence as a teenager. I have always wanted a space to be myself to dream without limits and support from a community that understood me”. She said. 

Pauline Juma started Rebirth of a Queen an NGO focusing on GBV survivors in 2017, at the time her focus was on survivors. The community based organization aims at helping women who suffer domestic violence, rape and other situations that are forms of GBV. It was started to empower, mentor survivors of GBV to live a trauma free and empowered life. The Organization begun with a small shelter which was initially my house in Kibera before it was moved to Kajiado County. The numbers kept increasing as 1 in 4 women experience physical or sexual abuse in Kibera. 

She runs the shelter surviving on fundraising and donors and when it comes to sanitary towels and diaper for the kids she does a fundraising. 

“The cases increase everyday and this makes it hard to cater for everyone and run the shelter as the number of victims increases daily too. Every day we receive a case or two for the rescue. We specifically deal with rescuing survivors, sheltering and empowering them.” Running a shelter is a frustrating affair apart from carrying the weight of survivors’ trauma of the proprietors shoulders funding is a constant headache. 

“I work so hard for it, as I am forced to do 4 jobs to keep the safe house running. There are days we try fundraising, some days we get well wishers as it’s always on me”. She narrates with acrimony. 

“At the moment I have 21 people at the safe house 15 of them are above 13 years, 6 out of the 15 are children and 6 are children below 10 years.” 

Most GBV cases are never reported, according to the founder of Rebirth of A queen, before getting justice in this country, one goes through a long process especially for survivors of Gender Based Violence.

“Sometimes I feel it’s all a scam, going round and round at the court until you give up. Out of 15 cases we have reported, none of them has borne any fruits. A 4 year old survivor of defilement is the latest case I am working on. The perpetrator is an 18 year old who was released on bond.” 

At Rebirth of a Queen women can stay for 9 months at most while undergoing counseling and medical treatment. “Those over 18 years stay for 9 months. I Rescue, shelter, empower, take them through therapy and eventually reintegrate them back to the society.” She continues.

Most shelters target women and children exclusively, as she is yet to open a safe house for boys before the year ends. Despite having financial challenges, the organization also faces threats from perpetrators who feel that the existence of Rebirth of a Queen poses as risk to their freedom.

Pauline Juma has worked hard to fight for women and children lives from the hands of perpetrators, looking back from where she started she says she is happy that she has made many steps forward though she feels she ought to do more. She calls for each Kenyan to help in the fight for GBV.

 “It is a journey that needs all hands on deck. It takes blood, sweat, tears and sleepless nights to get where I am today, to handle GBV we need to start with poverty because those living in under privileged areas are prone to violation as they are seen vulnerable and no one cares about them” She adds.

She feels that Kenyans are in a comfort zone when it comes to fighting GBV and it breaks her heart that femicide has taken root in this country and its saddening that Sheila Lumumba was killed and the fact that there’s no progress in the case is more sickening and shows how slow and unconcerned our justice system is when it comes to search cases. It clearly shows how we as a country value non-binary people and women. 

“We young women are on our own and it is our responsibility to provide security for ourselves, it’s up to us to speak against GBV as it seems no one is coming to rescue us. It is hurting and scary but we have to rise everyday and advocate against violence on women.” Pauline urges women.

Community activists like Pauline who foster survivors should be equipped with the skills and tools, including financial support to provide these services. The government should work together with the grass root movements to strengthen the work done on GBV. The government should also strengthen the justice system every individual should rise and be the change needed to see.

The post Giving An Hand To SGBV Survivors appeared first on .

Born in Kibera, Kenya, to a father who was a carpenter and a mother who worked as a janitor in Kilimani, Francis’ childhood was one replete with unpredictable days. Each day unfolded a new pandora of drama.

In 2001, political wars erupted in Kibera which forced them to relocate. It so happened that around the same time, his dad had backslid from his tang religious faith after being whipped by the famous Mary Akatsa, a female preacher who whips her congregation when they don’t abide by her teachings.

Witchcraft inheritance

His paternal grandmother, who was said to be a witch, was expected to visit them and hand over the powers to his father. As per the traditions, Francis’ father was the chosen heir of the witchcraft. However, It didn’t turn out as planned and instead, the dad became a serial drunkard and left his faith to flash down the drain.

Francis’ mother was wholly against the idea of the father becoming the heir of the witchcraft. They got into frequent confrontations and eventually parted ways. Francis and his siblings went to stay with their mother in Kawangware as their father found refuge at Gachie where he went to cohabit with his sister.

Life was not easy, “living with a single mom who was solely the breadwinner taking care of seven kids was quite a burden to her. She struggled to make ends meet for us. We ensured to work hard in school so that we may atleast change this situation someday,” Francis says.

Reconciliation

Months later, the parents reconciled after a pull and push negotiations. The father was burried deep into alcohol, had lost his job and the witchcraft initiation had morphed him into a miserable man.

“Since dad had no job at the time, and mom was the one providing and paying the bills, there was hardly respect between the two,” Francis recounts, “sometimes dad would come back home drunk and make the house a battle field, oblivious of our presence.”

They would fight Infront of them and utter abusive words, without caring whether Francis and his siblings heard or didn’t.

” My mom could spit out all sorts of insults to my dad, and expose his negative traits. Of course, dad would not just sit there and look as he’s being tormented, he’d get violent and turn everything in the house upside down.”

Francis and his siblings would hide behind a couch for safety till the dust calmed down, lest something heavy falls on one of them.

“They were both strong. It even helped that most of these fights happened when dad was drunk and would hardly harm each other to extremes of going to the hospital,” he says.

Francis Makonjio

The whole situation painted a negative picture in the neighborhood. “We couldn’t even interact with other kids because they would eventually want us to tell them what was happening yesterday in our house,” He recalls, “we were always the topic in gossips around the neighborhood and there was nowhere we could hide our faces.”

The more this happened, the more the father drowned in his drinking spree. He would use all the money on alcohol and sometimes would start selling household items just so he could get some cash to go and have a glass of beer.

“We suffered rent arrears. Sometimes we would be locked out of the house or forcefully vacated in the open daylight.”

Safe at school

Even though Francis and his siblings were bright in school, school fees was a big challenge. They would be sent home frequently for school fees.

“Staying at home was traumatizing, we felt more peaceful at school, but we couldn’t even be allowed in the compound because we couldn’t afford the school fees,” he narrates, “atleast we were sure of getting porridge at breaktime and githeri at lunch in school. At home, there was nothing, only embarrassments and exchange of blows.”

They depended on scholarships and well wishers who noticed their good performance in academics. The situation at home messed with their mental health, the only place where they found peace of mind was at school.

Expert’s say

Aguvasu Juliet Kavula, a psychologist and founder of ReachOutKenya, says “domestic violence may affect a child both physically and emotionally. For instance, a child may get himself involved in the fight trying to defend one of the parents and in the process get severely hurt. Emotionally, the child may grow up with the trauma and perceive the only way to solve misunderstandings is through violence.”

Aguvasu asserts that most children who grow up in violent homesteads end up with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) which affects the interactions they have with others. She says, “such a kid should atleast get counseling or someone to guide them. These violent traits may easily show up in them in future when they get married, since that’s how they grew up seeing their parents solve family feuds.”

Watching his mom struggle to provide for seven kids, Francis admits that they grew up hating their father. They hardly saw him as a parent and wouldn’t even want to get associated with him at all.

He recounts of a time when his mom lost a job and had to relocate back to the village. Since they were still in highschool, they stayed back, living with well wishers. His father was not in the vicinity at that crucial time, no one knew where he was.

Living differently

Despite the lemons that life threw at Francis, he picked them one after the other and squeezed them into a lemonade.

“Personally, I learnt a heap of lessons from those childhood experiences. They have shaped me into a responsible adult. Even though I grew up traumatized and hating my father, I have grown to make peace with the past. I don’t take alcohol nor use any substance, I have seen what they can do to someone and I choose to avoid that path,” he says in conclusion.

The post Domestic Violence: Growing Up In Between Fists Of My Parents appeared first on .