Women are now empowered to a point they can now stand with pride and speak out their views. Thanks be to the likes of suzzan B and Lucy stone.

However, there are those roles or things that we can’t keep fighting for equality till forever, they are the reality and facts of the society which have to be respected.

It’s the role of a man to chase a woman. It’s not just about his role but this is one way he proves his status as the man and a way to earn respect and readiness for future responsibilities.

No man wants to feel inferior that’s why they will try with all means to raise their ego. When a man is ready and willing to court a lady, he will follow all steps till the last stage which is marriage.

He will spot his prey, stalk her then probably approach her, exchange contacts or social handles, then the rest he gives luck to his charm.

Is it wrong for a lady to express her feelings?

There are ladies with guts to disclose their feelings to a man they have interest in. It is not a bad thing. It’s good when one is being real on maters of emotions and ideas.

But before doing this probably you should consider asking yourself; How far do I want this relationship to go.

It’s natural to the male species to hunt. They love being on the run to get what they want. The pinch of the reality is, the harder they chase or try to win a lady the harder they find it to lose or let go of the lady.

To be interested in a man is not a crime at all and no one will direct a bullet into your skull. The act of trying to persuade him is what affects it all, give him the chance to show interest in you and try to win you.

The moment you choose to do the vise versa he ends up looking down on you as a desperate soul. He might end up taking advantage of the fact that you are into him, at this point he can do anything to your brittle heart but you won’t see it and will be ready to keep forgiving him.

Baby girl let no one lie to you that it’s okay to chase a man, the ones that want it at ease will lose it the same way they got it. They give respect to their sweat.

They are wired to believe that whatever comes easy is not worth their time and emotions. worst of all not worth their respect.

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You can tell from the rage everyone bears from their past experiences and the lessons we have learned from those around us. Stories, movies, and songs have been released to express the nature and attitude of most individuals when it comes to relationships.

Truth is, we all desire to love and to be loved. Some of us have leveraged everything and have managed to build sustainable relationships, while some of us came out with lessons. In this generation, I hear it’s called character development.

In every season of our lives, we all have encountered failure and some of them are because of our own doings while some are because of reasons that couldn’t be avoided.

Everyone talks about how relationships are difficult when the truth is we are the only ones that make it complicated. We are all different, which means different mindsets, goals, plans, characters, and backgrounds which play a vital role in shaping who we are and where we want to be. It’s the only reason we all have different perspectives which makes the difference when it comes to building a relationship with someone you are not raised with.

In life we all know what we want, this includes the type of relationship we desire, the life we desire, and where we want our career to be.

When it comes to relationships we all have envisioned where we want to be and with whom. This includes the sacrifices we are willing to make or take, and the conversations we want to have with the ones we desire the time. It is never as complicated as most people make it look like. A relationship is only complicated when one person or both parties have selfish interests. This means everyone is there to gain something and walk out of the relationship without being sincere at the beginning.

Here are a few tips to enlighten you on why you are still falling into relationships that are only going to drain your emotions, finances, and time:

You will only be in a relationship that is complicated when you keep choosing the wrong people. By the time you are at a certain age, you understand the type of person you want to spend your life with. By this, I mean the characters, you want to instill in your kids, genes, and the life you want for them. Most times we allow our friends and family to talk us down on our choice when deep down we know what we desire and probably have seen the potential in someone and we love them for who they are.

Relationships are a person’s choice, we are the ones who are going to live with the person for the best and most part of our lives.

You still do not have an idea of what are your love languages and your partners’. Love languages are fundamental when it comes to building a lasting relationship. There are different love languages and most of us resonate differently when It comes to all of them. Relationships are all about loving our partners the way they feel loved and not how we think they should be loved or what we expect from ourselves.

You are just not ready for commitment. A relationship is not dating. Relationships are based on choosing to love someone and being with them even when you do not see the need to be with them. it’s choosing someone at their best and at their worst. It is one sacrifice most of us do not want to make.

You haven’t figured out your intentions towards a relationship. In all our life plans our intentions are the reasons behind the moves we make. We all think a relationship can sustain itself when we just do the bare minimum. The truth is it all begins with being intentional. This will automatically guide you on what you want, where you want to be and what you should do that will impact the relationship. Intentions speak volumes about who you are as a person and how much you value the relationship.

With all these said. I hope you identify your mistakes, acknowledge them, heal then try to love again. It’s never too late. All the best.

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The emphasis on proper grammar and advanced vocabularies used to be a job done by teachers back in high school and primary school. This included regulations and consequences that were enforced on student to adhere to the compelled language to be used on certain days.

Things have changed. Languages that are termed easier to engage different ethics are now taking more spaces in our society, that includes Sheng – a kenyan slang language which is a combination of both English and Swahili – though not necessarily the Swahili sanifu.

The dialect has been embraced more by the kenyan youth, who statistically occupy 75% of the population. This gives more justification to why the tongue has spread so fast and seems to be dominating other languages.

Apart from the kenyan music genre; gengetone, Radio stations such as Ghetto Radio and tabloids like Kioo are embracing the changes by engaging the Sheng community and promoting the diversification of languages.

In spite of the semantic progression, there are scars left that might be quite hard to heal as a society. The scars on language barrier for effective communication.

The formal languages used in corporate world is gravely affected, leading to reduced productivity due to lack of employment stability.

One of the most important skill that every employer pivot is the degree of communication. It’s a basic asset that everyone uses to get something done. It is a skill in this era that seem to be affecting most of the youngsters by cutting them out on so many outstanding opportunities.

We can’t blame it all on ethnicity but considering the invation of the tech world, a lot has ensue. The impacts are undeniably incredible but in the case of education, it has taken over on so many healthy cultures.

Unlike before where people were tuned to drama festivals, poetry, book clubs and plays that promoted reading culture and creativity, people are now tuned to more visuals. Which is broken down for easy consumption.

Though looking at its positive impacts, technology has easen work. To begin with those sending emails, it is now trouble-free due to the development of applications such as grammarly which is designed to improve the writing process therefore less strain.

Mobile phones now come with prediction bars that reduce the tedious job of finding vocabularies leading to a society deprived of mental stretch.

If only regulations or strategies to promoting a reading and creative culture in our society are figured out, then we would be at a better place to save the future minds.

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In these modern times, social media has evolved its presence and impact on our society. We can tell by the increment in job opportunities, creative and Innovative ideas shared, and also a platform leveraged by Gen-z to refine their skills.

Well, put aside the brighter side of social media and all its positive impacts. Social media has taken a negative toll on the life of most of our youths considering they are the ones exposed to its usage.

Normally we hear the only thing that can hook someone to a point of addiction is either drug usage, alcohol, sex, or porn. Neuroscientist have their facts right that, the level of dopamine released equates to that of cocaine.
This means your kid might not be under the influence of cocaine but they are gravely affected by the exposure to social media.

Addiction series is unfortunate to the brain, which influences the perception of an individual, creativity levels, social interactions, physical health as well as mental and emotional.

Talking of creativity, it is undeniable that social media has elevated some level of creativity which includes; animation, video editing and not to forget photography skills. Despite all these skills Acquired, the sharpness of our creative expression is diluted as compared to that of Generation X.

They would come up with original works and execute them after cultivating their thoughts and ideas in all possible ways Until they are perfected.

The truth is this is not leading to the expected solutions we want in our society. We deserve young minds that can generate valuable and solution-oriented ideas.

Just like any other drug, the effects are similar to that of social media addiction.

Laziness is another key factor that deteriorates the growth of an individual, community, society, and organization.

The only activities in social media involve scrolling and reacting to posts. Which only causes mental masturbation and not the actual motivation leading to growth.

The fact that your mind feels satisfied when you watch someone doing a similar thing you have always wanted to do or coming up with ideas but failing to act on them.

Back in school, in the physical world, they were called motivational speakers who talked to you about everything you wanted to hear. It only increases the level of dopamine instead of getting you out of your comfort zone.

Social media is not only addictive it also plays a vital role in mental breakdown. More than ever before, mental health awareness is the most advocated health issue. The reasons are; the rise in suicidal cases caused by depression, family disputes due to unmet mental health, and poor work and school performance due to anxiety and depression.

It’s all overlooked but the reality is social media has played a part in it due to the comparisons we put ourselves into.

Despite the original mission of social media being a global interactive site, it has become a site to increases the anxiety of many young folks who tend to compare their success and achievements with their peer groups.

Truth is, there are early and late bloomers, which means time and work in progress define our growth.

Social media is a very engaging space full of fun activities and personal interests. Naturally, human beings are social beings. We thrive well when we interact with those around us, With social media most of us are hooked to our gadgets and we forget the people in the physical world who serve us, with love, kindness, and care.

Above everything, anything that is taking more of your concentration and productive life is an addiction. It is important to strike a balance in your life and work on your self-growth this will not only put you forward but reduce the risks of anxiety and general mental health. Self-control is a virtue to Cultivate in this error where digital space is taking over.

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It is that season where majority are getting to deep conversations and late night calls from partners and other suitors. Having in mind the target for the awaited day.

Someone somewhere is stressing about not receiving flowers, being taken out on a date, or receiving a gift, but what if you change the narrative.

Being single is a choice, as it has become the new narrative in town. Though on such occasions everyone want to feel some type of way like belonging and loved.

Well, here are some of the ways to spice up or have a great day in solitary

Organise a small picnic date
On such a day you can’t obviously drive home or hang around with friends more so those in relationships. There could be a possibility there are other singles who would love to have similar experience therefore tagging them along wouldn’t be a bad idea. This will help you get to know your friends and having a fun time.
Incase of a plug on picnics
picnic_in_nairobi and picnics_kenya would be of much help.

Prepare a special home dish and invite your siblings
It’s way more fun to have a small gathering where you can remind yourselves of the old events and funny memories.

Go on a date with that guy or lady
It’s obvious there could be a person that has been asking you out or one that asked you to be his valentine. Though first make your intensions clear and known to him or her.

Visit a national park, game reserve or any animal park
This will be more exciting and productive. It will help you understand your interaction with animals and nature.

Go on a road trip
If you love adventure and exploring then this would be a bomb experience. You can even go as a team or solo if you want to have a time of your own.
You may consider
Random_roadtrips_ kenya or road_trips_254

Going on an ice-cream or pizza date
If you enjoy junk then this would be the best option and way affordable.

Visiting the orphanage
This would be an act of service. You could grab something or take some donations or dedicate your time by giving services.

Visiting the less fortunate in your area
People appreciate when they feel remembered or they are at the core of other people’s heart. Visiting people and getting to know how they feel and interacting with them is an important step that shows your concern for humanity.

Driving to a famous Nyama choma joint or pork zone
Grab that ugali and your favorite steak.

Take yourself for swimming
You may meet people to interact with as you have fun.

Visiting the hospital or jail
Providong any kind of service like singing, praying with them brings them closer to hope.

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As its popularly said, ‘change is inevitable’. The say is more evident in this current generation where women empowerment is the theme for our daily life.

We are now living in times where women have more thirst for financial independency more than any era. Which is a premonition to the economy of a nation. It only means there will be more input prompting to better living standards and a fully morphed society.

Here is to why there is rise in unemployment among women.

1. Unmet qualifications

Unlike men who apply for a job despite not acquiring the desired qualifications of a position, they will still go ahead to give their shot.

Women will be perusing on job application sites and ignore jobs that they are 90% qualified because they miss out on two requirements. Nowadays you’ll find people creating work profiles on LinkedIn where employers and Human Resource managers delve into your eminent profile to scrutinize eligible candidates.

LinkedIn is the ilk of social media that you will be scrolling to find insights and left amused by the incredible influence and achievements most women have made. Funny thing is that you’ll walk into most offices and realise most of them cop out.

2. Opaque career plan

For the longest time a girl has been empowered to grab their rights to education though the purpose for it all has never been made clear. The society has projected education to a girl as a distraction strategy for early marriages and teenage and early pregnancies.

Most women after acquiring a baccalaureate or a diploma, they seem to have made a better impact and life and much is achieved. The thought for what’s the next plan for my career isn’t what they put their energy towards.

There is much to building a career that is bewildered by a nice paying job offer that’s not related to a career vision. The notion about life after school being a bout seeking independency and not idling around has been the source of diversion that’s most times is weightage by the pride of their stature.

Women are unable to talk about their career expectations and how they envision their career life. This then becomes the root for an unplanned career. Strategies on supplementary courses that boost the degree certificate should be considered. A point of starting to create yourself opportunities to solidify your skills should be the next key strategy. Building a resourceful network that will augment your growth will work better to pellucid career.

3. Sexual Harassments

Sexual harassments have been an underlying issue to why most women leave or reject and discern employment. In 2018 a survey was done and the findings were that 38% of women experience sexual harassments in workplaces.

The statistics are quite alarming since it has robbed self-esteem and confidence of determined individuals and instilled fear among young thriving career women.

75% of the sexual harassments cases go unreported due to trauma, stigmatisation and the most common retaliation. 55% of victims’ experience retaliation after speaking up.

Factors that catalyse the rise in sexual harassments are; a job promotion, a rise in pay, job acceptance, benefits or a favourable work shifts and job security.

4. Societal expectations and norms

Society plays a major role in shaping peoples mind-set. This include cultures and traditions that have been passed from generation to generation. Things that seemed to have work in favour of old folks.

By nature, a woman is a conservative, therefore much is not expected. The society hasn’t yet morphed to accepting there is time for everything and a human has their own rights and freedom.

Despite having your natural timeline (your age), the society has its own set of rules which includes, age of success, age for marriage and age for starting a family.

For a woman hers is the younger she is the more productive she is which is influenced by her biological timing.

5. Absentia of a mentor and mentorship programs

In every successful career, a person who guides and willing to advise is necessary. Particularly one that is quite old and more exposed to the field one is at.

The mentors are able to find your strengths and present your name on potential board of directors. Something most women are lacking.

Mentorship programs and sponsorship that elevate one’s career are other necessities that are yet to be harnessed when it comes to women empowerment.

Mentorship programs helps in improving one’s skills by providing professional guidance and a great network. A network that accelerates innovation and creative ideas to reality.

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Being in a male-dominated society that’s being empowered by feminist rule, much is still left uncovered. Truth be told women’s empowerment is now a global anthem. From accepting women’s viewpoints to making effort.

Though as a society we have a long way to go more so when it comes to engaging women in the political issues of their land.

We’ve had women being vocal about empowerment, and the young women are striving for the same notion without understanding the importance of access to these privileges. This brings us to the point we ask is feminism here to break cultural norms or just embrace education and status?

Come to think of it politics is the basic foundation of an economy yet our young women are left out of the grip. There is much in the space that remains undisclosed yet it affects the whole dynamics of freedom and acknowledgment of rights.

With the help of our fore women such as Wangari Maathai, who was known for being a humanitarian. Her main focus was in line with the empowerment of women. She used her political position as a weapon to enlighten other women and create an aid for their growth.

Michelle Obama never took a back sit as the first lady. Despite the need to create awareness and embrace education among women, she encouraged the need to be aware of your voice and its impact on society.

We are fond of hearing about gender equality and access to information but the need to be clear about the impacts of politics remains unprocessed, without apprehending the influence it has on our lives, whether directly or indirectly.

Here are some of the reasons as a society we should consider enlightening our girls on matters of politics.

Economic Productivity

As it is popularly said, politics is the foundation of an economy, this statement is not familiar to many ears. Facts are said that productivity is only improved when the output is maximized.

This can only be achieved when a woman is empowered. This is through access to education and employment. Which was brought to light through the gender equality movement, that was pushed forward by women who accessed the political position.

Through gender equality, women were able to access equal pay that helped improve the living standard of their families. This abridged the housewife norm which led to more input that affect the economic productivity of a nation.

Understanding their Rights

Here is the question of how one will know her rights when they have limited knowledge of their rights as a woman. Many women were subjected to domestic violence because cultures denied them a voice.

They were tuned to the toxicity because they didn’t know any better about their self-worth in the name of submission and maintaining marriage vows. The rights to speech and the right to expression forced them to pass the same trauma from generation to generation.

It’s time to engage our young women with matters of the public and show them the responsibilities it comes with it including the impacts it plays in our day-to-day life.

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We live in a society where in every advantage there is a disadvantage. This isn’t any different.

Welcome to one of the most popular cities in Africa, with incredible views, elegant resides and not to forget world’s best tourists attraction sites.

The city is said to be one of those cities with a great business potential. Reason, the city people are money-minded. This means anything is a business including your own phone that you lost in a club while you were delving in a hot conversation with the bartender lady. You will find it the next day along the streets being sold at a throw away price.

You walk along certain streets and notice how busy everyone is. Though you won’t understand what kind of busy they are into unless; one man walks towards you assuming you are not from the city. They are guru’s in this industry, they distinctively know who is from ‘Jomoko’ and who is from ‘Kinoo’.

They come in the most peaceful way. They will tell you how the streets are quite harsh and how rare it is to find someone like him. Number one rule in every business: Build trust with your customers. They know this for sure.

You’ll trust them unknowingly. They will guide you like the way the wise men blindly followed a star.

You reach at a point and a sudden commotion that leaves you unflinched and the good samaritan you thought was from Jericho is no more. Your sweet potatoes from the village will be someone’s meal for the night.

You are a strong believer for policies and rules. Like a good law student who is aware of his rights, you walk towards a police officer in charge of traffic, they call them APs.

You try to explain to him how you’ve just lost your properties and he acts like he is partially deaf. Untill he starts ranting on how he is tired, the sun is too scorchy and definitely that’s an indirect polite way to ask for a token for listening.

Well you are well raised and a strong believer for kindness, you grab your a hundred shillings to save yourself from his sentiments.

He acts keen and very moved by your story and is about to help, instead he whistle and and tells you “karibu jiji” (welcome to the city).

It’s not like he didn’t know, he is fully aware of what goes around and he never bothers. At the end of the day he is into the collaboration. He gets his share in every dime.

A Similar story from someone else. You walk into one of the busiest stores. Assuming they have everything of quality and are intact.

On the display its one of the biggest phone brands. You walk into it and a lady with a soothing voice dressed in a nice mini dress walks towards you. If you’re a girl then it’s the vise versa. It’s called marketing.

You are taken to a consultation spot where you are given options on what phone to take home, specs that suits you and the prices. You really love them. And automatically you grab your purse or wallet and you are there buying your phone. Head home with delight. Two weeks later the phone crashes or turns off.

You clearly have no enough money to buy another one. You take it to the guy that repairs phones and all he does is giggle. Like you cracked a joke. You can’t understand his laugh but It’s quite too late to realize that you bought a refurbished phone.

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You are in the lecture hall, earlier than before on a chilly Monday morning. Not to forget it’s drizzling and your hood is soaking wet. Just because you don’t stay in the school hostel or a rented house near your campus. You commute.

Let me guess. Your parents made the decision for you. They have been to campus before – they have their fears of their 1900s experiences being a replica. What can I say, the love of cautious parents?

The lectures are not really interesting, assignments and projects have become your daily routine to work on.

You picture and document your life after school more pleasant than the lavender freshener. You repeat the same fantasies over and over until you matrix your brain to form a reality in it.

You see yourself finding an internship. Not really being an intern rather finding a job because you feel you are ripe and have the capabilities to be in the corporate world.

You see yourself earning right after campus, moving out, being more independent, buy your first car and house at twenty-three, finding a partner then a baby. You feel the happiness of finally having your own family with a fulfilling career that has always been your hobby.

Absurd. Actuality hits you. Right after your graduation.

Your village neighbor passes every 11:00-ish in the morning, staring at you. You might confuse his stare to a person dying for a Goodmorning greeting. Truth be told he’s wondering what you are still doing at home while other graduates are in the city looking for jobs. Some land into part-time jobs that are not even related to their baccalaureate.

Your aunts and uncles call your siblings or parents, they start it with a delightful conversation. That flows to “nani sikuhizi anafanya nini.” For a girl they all ask about her fiancé and remind her of the biological clock.

Your church pastors and elders rant why you’re not praying for deliverance. They even seek to visit your home. Assuming there could be an evil spirit gripping to your success.

Well, you block your ears and keep up with the drive of job hunting. Your CVs are almost in every company. The receptionists in town are now fond of your face. Until they call each other just to confirm if “kawaida” has shown up.

Finally your prayers are answered. You research how to dress up for an interview, get your clothes ready and your cologne.
You don’t want to look like the problem itself, you improvise your broke looks to that of a Chief Executive Officer.

You get started, it seems like the job everyone wants, including yourself. You act like you love it in the name of passion being your number one rule.

It gets too much, the pressure, the toxic boss, the sleepless nights, late night shifts and detachment from family. You are left empty and unable to deliver. The one thing that was supposed to give you the happiness is engrossing you.

You reconsider the people around you. Their support and happiness, but your mental health denies you the power to sacrifice your soul.

You now get yourself to another stage of answering queries. Since you dumped the only job that was meant to be your breakthrough and those around you. You wish to get the job back but you left a dent at your work place and their ego can’t accommodate your return.

The consequences of prioritizing your mental stability sends you back to square one – tarmacking. A place you swore never to go back to.

You wish to make people understand where you’re coming from but all they can see is dissapointment.

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Well, unlike any other mental disease disorders, depression is the most leading with an estimate of 300 million people. In a society like kenya where people believe certain diseases are for the profuse while others are for those living in substandard, it becomes tedious to have them understand certain aspects on health.

Depression being one of them that’s not taken serious among the impoverished due to the hypothesis of it being a mental disorder.

We live in the twenty first century, an era where anxiety and expectations is the anthem while technology is gradually evolving and a lot is needed to keep up with the pace. This includes moving with the trends, therefore I don’t blame anyone.

They say change is inevitable while others say if you don’t change, change is going to change you.

In the recent past there have been cases on the effects of depression when its neglected. One of them being suicide which has popularized its controversy in radio and TV. It seems like a trend that is almost being normalized but the truth of the matter is for one to take the suicidal step they must have fought for their own peace.

You mention anything relating to mental illness and the response is talk to someone. It seems easy to anyone who isn’t affected. It’s a good suggestion but who is willing to take his/her time listen to someone else’s problems. And if so who is loyal enough to keep it to themselves. Making that decision of being vulnerable and sharing certain truths about oneself takes a lot of courage that needs to be respected.

Some might be saying, we live in the new era where we have specialists. The psychologist, therapist, counselor. These are people specialized in dealing with the thoughts and mind of a human being. Their main job is, they are paid to sit and listen and help one come up with better solutions.

This could be the best idea but the sessions are quite expensive and not everyone can afford them. I’m not tring to be bias but I thought the sessions were for providing help but the truth of the matter is that it’s more about the money.

Recently we lost one of our own, Alex Nderi popularly know as DJ lithium who worked at Capital FM. Just before he took his life he wrote a note that clarified why he opted for suicide. He couldn’t spend any more of his 6,500 shillings for every session.

Communication being key in these times, it’s not seriously taken more so within the family members. People want to find peace and comfort when they are around their family members but in most cases it seems they are the reason some are finding it difficult to keep up while others find it hard to share their emotions.

Three years ago The Standard Media reported a story of a 29 year old Gerald Mwangi who committed suicide after foretelling his death on Facebook leaving his grieving mother persuading other mothers to emphasize on communication.

In the recent past there have been issues in the National Police Service (NPS) where police officers have been taking their lives. According to a recent survey, it shows about 12 and 13 percent of police officers have mental issues.

Depression has become so rampant and alarming. If at all the government and other stakeholders could chip in and curb the trend. Or better still, mobilize psychologists, therapists and counsellors so as to come up with a framework that can help reduce the cases.

As it looks, going for a session with a counselor is quite expensive and a big chip for many. Depression has deepened its roots, it’s about time we took action and save lives.

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