Deep State Quarantined Me

March 27, 2020 1 By Tonny Ogwa

Deep State Quarantined Me…

Once upon a time in the land far far away there lived me. Okey, not me as in me the way I am now, the twelve year old me. I was in class six then, what we now call grade six. Because we are cool. So I attended a school with the word community forming part of it’s long name. Those days every cool private school had to have community in it’s name. Like, Little Angels Community School ama Corona Conquerors Community School. Or any other derivative of the same.

So yours truly here was the prefect of class six. You know, a class prefect was on the same rank as the teachers. You can argue with this but it’s true. At least in my school. Why am I insinuating thus? Because me as prefect I was authorised to whack other kids behinds. Wayward kids mostly but also any other kid that made an attempt to undermine me and my power. Just like a teacher. See?

Sasa in the hierarchy of power at the lowest level was the normal pupils. Children of a lesser god. These guys had no rights above what a prefect or a teacher decreed. And then there was us. The almighty prefects, up there in a close tie with the teachers. We had every power except administration of the school which was only wielded by the headmaster. Those days every head of a primary school was a headmaster. It doesn’t matter if they were male or female, they were headmaster. Also a female headmaster was unheard of! Now the headmaster reigned supreme up there above us all. He could fire a teacher just as easily as he could demote a prefect.

“Mr so and so, you don’t know how to teach maths, you’re fired.”

“Class one prefect, you did wet your pants this morning, you’re demoted!”

Well, it was all jolly and rosy until members of the deep state started underming me. They threatened to stop reggea. Ati my reign must come to an end na kama sio sasa ni sasa hivi. Ati kutaereweka! Si I was outraged! The audacity!

At the helm of this unholy organization was one Diana Kaveke(don’t worry, they won’t know it’s you). I warned her to quit making unnecessary tantrum or she would face my wrath. You wouldn’t believe it but right on my face she told me to swallow a big boiled potatoe if I was unhappy with the reality that I was nolonger fit to be king.

In the course of this exchange all I know is that one moment I was having a mug of Uji on my hand and the next all the contents of the mug were all over Diana’s face. Hot and frothy.
Normally this wouldn’t be much of a deal except the supreme leader himself, bwana headmaster sir witnessed the whole thing. After thorough ass weeping, I was quarantined for the rest of the day in the headmaster’s office.

The next day I was stripped off my powers. Demoted. The deep state finally won. And I learnt that kikieleweka you have to quarantine.

Keep quarantining friends. We shall overcome!